"Remind Yourself of Your Worth" by Just Jennifer

Another one bites the dust.  Another man I love is gone.  After all of my dating and loving and pain, all I want to do is stay home, focus on my job and kids, and NEVER fall for another man again.  Is this healthy? Probably not.  Is this going to last? Probably not.  But right now, I am so tired of dealing with heartache that I can’t fathom another broken heart.  Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s them?  Maybe it’s a combination of me and the men I choose to love?  I have zero idea as to why it always ends this way.  Regardless of the “why” or the “who” in the situation, the pain is always the same: deep.

I love fiercely.  I do.  I give all my free time to the man I love.  I give him my loyalty, my time, and my trust.  I expect the same in return, but it never happens.  So what do I do next?  Do I give up on finding my “other half”? Would I ever be happy alone? I just cannot honestly tell you.  What I can tell you is… this is for the birds.  Sure, I have options.  We all do.  I can call a number of men and spend superficial time with them.  Will it amount to less heartache? No, it surely won’t.  When I return home from a fun night out, the old heartache will return to me in its full force.  I will probably be drunk and that will intensify the pain by a million.  So why do I do it? Because I am lost.  I am a lost woman who just wants a partner in this difficult life.

I’m certain we all want to find someone who compliments our lives.  Human nature is to want to find our “other half”, right? We couldn’t possibly feel whole without having a spouse to share our lives, right? So then we sacrifice and settle for the first person who is willing to love us.  Does it matter if that person’s love is dangerously greedy? Does it matter if the person you choose doesn’t completely give you 100%? As long as you have someone, right?  After all, who wants to become a lonely old lady? Who wants to be the old woman down the block who never married?

Let it be noted that I do not care one ounce about becoming that old lady.  I have made a decision in my life, for my own benefit, for a change.  I will either have amazing or be amazing alone.  No longer will I allow anyone to make me feel “less than” wonderful.  No longer will I allow a man to be my sole focus if he only has time for me when everything that’s important to him is complete.  Why shouldn’t I be a priority? The answer is: I should be.  I should be his strength, his weakness, his love, his supporter, and his best friend.

Ladies, never settle for less than you deserve.  What if we all stood up for ourselves and demanded better?  They’d have no choice but to give us better.  If that leads to all of us becoming the unmarried old lady on the block, we will just have to get together and drink wine every weekend.  That doesn’t sound at all like an awful life to me.  But, that’s just my opinion.

(*** Just Jennifer is proud to call Mississippi home and welcomes your feedback on this topic. Email your thoughts and questions to Jennifer at justjennifer.cmg@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/imjustjennifer. (The views expressed here are those of Just Jennifer and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Conversations Media Group or Shadow Play Entertainment.)