"Remind Yourself of Your Worth" by Just Jennifer

Another one bites the dust.  Another man I love is gone.  After all of my dating and loving and pain, all I want to do is stay home, focus on my job and kids, and NEVER fall for another man again.  Is this healthy? Probably not.  Is this going to last? Probably not.  But right now, I am so tired of dealing with heartache that I can’t fathom another broken heart.  Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s them?  Maybe it’s a combination of me and the men I choose to love?  I have zero idea as to why it always ends this way.  Regardless of the “why” or the “who” in the situation, the pain is always the same: deep.

I love fiercely.  I do.  I give all my free time to the man I love.  I give him my loyalty, my time, and my trust.  I expect the same in return, but it never happens.  So what do I do next?  Do I give up on finding my “other half”? Would I ever be happy alone? I just cannot honestly tell you.  What I can tell you is… this is for the birds.  Sure, I have options.  We all do.  I can call a number of men and spend superficial time with them.  Will it amount to less heartache? No, it surely won’t.  When I return home from a fun night out, the old heartache will return to me in its full force.  I will probably be drunk and that will intensify the pain by a million.  So why do I do it? Because I am lost.  I am a lost woman who just wants a partner in this difficult life.

I’m certain we all want to find someone who compliments our lives.  Human nature is to want to find our “other half”, right? We couldn’t possibly feel whole without having a spouse to share our lives, right? So then we sacrifice and settle for the first person who is willing to love us.  Does it matter if that person’s love is dangerously greedy? Does it matter if the person you choose doesn’t completely give you 100%? As long as you have someone, right?  After all, who wants to become a lonely old lady? Who wants to be the old woman down the block who never married?

Let it be noted that I do not care one ounce about becoming that old lady.  I have made a decision in my life, for my own benefit, for a change.  I will either have amazing or be amazing alone.  No longer will I allow anyone to make me feel “less than” wonderful.  No longer will I allow a man to be my sole focus if he only has time for me when everything that’s important to him is complete.  Why shouldn’t I be a priority? The answer is: I should be.  I should be his strength, his weakness, his love, his supporter, and his best friend.

Ladies, never settle for less than you deserve.  What if we all stood up for ourselves and demanded better?  They’d have no choice but to give us better.  If that leads to all of us becoming the unmarried old lady on the block, we will just have to get together and drink wine every weekend.  That doesn’t sound at all like an awful life to me.  But, that’s just my opinion.

(*** Just Jennifer is proud to call Mississippi home and welcomes your feedback on this topic. Email your thoughts and questions to Jennifer at justjennifer.cmg@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/imjustjennifer. (The views expressed here are those of Just Jennifer and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Conversations Media Group or Shadow Play Entertainment.)

Cat Hair in My Coffee by Just Jennifer

I am a busy mom with 2 of my 3 children still at home. I also have a household to run alone, a full-time job, and this writing gig. My life is hectic. My home is usually messy, my laundry is never quite finished (I wash it, it just doesn't get put away), and I'm sure I've forgotten what color my hair once was (brown? Surely not this speckled grey color). Don't judge me...my kids are healthy and, except for the occasional rant, quite
happy. But this morning started out all wrong.

At 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I woke up to the family cat, Annabelle, screeching outside my bedroom door. I jumped out of bed, enthusiastically ready to start my day (or saying a few choice words and groaning...it's really all about perception). I was awake and I was moving, so I thought I might as well get some coffee brewing.

Being that the little one (as I refer to the youngest of the brood) was still asleep, I made sure to tiptoe past her bedroom. As I finished starting my brew and sat on my favorite end of the couch I heard it: the familiar sound of the little one tossing and turning. For those of you who are parents, you know the sound. And what do we do? We sit very still, we hardly breathe, we slowly reach for the television remote and turn it off....anything that might keep her asleep for another 30 minutes. That's what good parenting is, right? Ensuring your children get enough sleep? Ok, stop judging me. I
heard the little one settle down and made my way to the kitchen for my cupful of morning
bliss.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my favorite hand warmer mug and poured my dark
roast cup of love. Yes, I love coffee. I love it like I love wine, but that's another
story. As I lifted my own personal bit of joy in the mornings to my lips, I saw it: a
big, bold, arrogant cat hair in my coffee. What did I do? I scooped it out and drank my
coffee!

The point of all this is to simply say that a cat hair in my coffee is minor. It's
nothing. Whether the house is clean, the laundry is folded, or the little one stays
asleep long enough for me to indulge in my morning brew peacefully...these are the small
things in life. Take them as such. Simply scoop the cat hair from your coffee, take a
satisfying drink, and save your energy for the big things. But, that's just my opinion.

(*** Just Jennifer is proud to call Mississippi home and welcomes your feedback on this topic. Email your thoughts and questions to Jennifer at justjennifer.cmg@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/imjustjennifer. (The views expressed here are those of Just Jennifer and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Conversations Media Group or Shadow Play Entertainment.)

[Opinion] What Do I Owe You?

by Just Jennifer

When two people are in a relationship, they owe it to one another to provide certain benefits. Love, support, financial help, respect, companionship, and honesty are only a few of the benefits that should be expected from your mate. But what about dating? As a 37 year old single mother, I've had my fair share (and possibly someone else's share) of dating. I've had amazing dates and dates that I was sure would end in me being chopped up and served at his next dysfunctional family dinner. True, I love to eat and whoever takes me out will spend a decent amount of money on my dinner, but I've often be left with the question: what do I owe him? 

Ladies, if a man takes you on a nice date, spends his hard-earned money to feed you a delicious meal, flatters you with compliments, and provides a nice evening away from your life and problems, what do you owe him? Do you owe him a second date? How about a sexual favor? He did spend his money on you, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. Listen to me and listen hard: you owe him manners at the table, you owe him the privilege of sitting next to a lovely lady and enjoying a meal. You only owe him the wonderful company of you...or the hot mess of you...whichever category you prefer. Should you choose to go home with him, more power to you. As an adult, that's your choice. But it's most certainly not OWED to him. And men....

I didn't forget you, Gentlemen. What do you owe us? If you take a woman to a nice dinner, you enjoy her company, and it ends up in a fun night of adult entertainment, what do you owe her? Do you owe her a light bill? How about a father figure for little Tommy? Now it's your turn to listen: Nope...not at all...please don't do it. You owe nothing. The fact is that she agreed, as well as you did, to be an adult and involve herself with your manly ways. Stop feeling as if you are now obligated to be her main squeeze! 

Now continue on with your dating. Be sure to remember that you are owed nothing. For all the ladies who already know this, disregard. For all the gentlemen who never push a lady on the first date, you've got my utmost respect. For all those in between...party on, you crazy fools! That's just my opinion, though. ***

*** Just Jennifer is proud to call Mississippi home and welcomes your feedback on this topic. Email your thoughts and questions to Jennifer at justjennifer.cmg@gmail.com. You can also find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/imjustjennifer. (The views expressed here are those of Just Jennifer and do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Conversations Media Group or Shadow Play Entertainment.)