10 Tips to Love Yourself Happy by Shari Alyse

Stop beating yourself up.
Stop taking everything so seriously.
Love more. 
Laugh more. 
Forgive yourself more. 
Worry less. 
Trust more. 
Screw regrets!

We hear these words of truly sage advice and know them to ring true within our hearts, yet we still find ourselves worrying about how much we worry.

Why is it so hard to stop being so hard on ourselves? Why is it so hard to simply allow ourselves to be happy?

Pressure? Discomfort? The unknown? What if we do all the things we’ve been told to ‘do’ to be happy and yet we still find ourselves unhappy? That is why I believe so many play the lifelong chase of this elusive happiness.

In my recent bestseller, Love Yourself Happy, I write:

I know most of us are waiting for happiness. Waiting for that ‘thing’ to happen before that elusive happy shows its face. You know what I’m talking about. The ‘I’ll be happy when’ disease. I’ll be happy when I lose weight. I’ll be happy when I have more money, when I am in a relationship, when my health improves... when, when, when. 

If you’re like most of society, you’ve put your happiness on hold for what seems like an eternity because the majority of the time you’re so busy trying to achieve those things that by the time you do, you’re so freaking exhausted and mentally worn out that you forget that this is even what you wanted in the first place and had convinced yourself that it was the magic elixir to happiness. Now, you’ve discovered there’s actually something else you need that will make you happy. Phew!”

I’d like to share something with you that I find very interesting. In the most recent ‘World Happiness Report’, only about one third of the population says they are happy. Seriously! One third! That means 70% of the world is unhappy. When I really dug into this, what I came to find is that most people base their happiness (or unhappiness) on external things. And truth be told, if you’re going to put all of your ‘happy’ eggs into one basket based on something that is not secure and stable, those eggs are bound to break and you’re bound to feeling unhappy once more.

But, what if your happiness isn’t reliant on anyone or anything? What if happiness comes from one thing and one thing alone - your love for yourself?  Yes, self-love. What if you choose each and everyday to love yourself through it all? Through the ups, downs, detours and roundabouts. What if you choose to really take a deep dive within and choose to see your beauty, your power, your potential and your enough-ness. What if you choose to stop determining your worth and value based on achievements and external validation? I can tell you this - you would have a lot smoother and happier of a ride here in your life.

For today, I wanted to share 10 simple practices that you can do that will help strengthen this self-love muscle. Like anything, the more you consistently work on this, the stronger it becomes. 

10 Tips to Love Yourself Happy 

1. Accept where you are
2. Accept how you feel
3. Accept that there will be hard times
4. Pat yourself on the back
5. Do something each day that lights you up within
6. Remind yourself how far you’ve come
7. Say (at least) one loving thing to yourself every day
8. Take a risk looking silly / have more fun
9. Remember you’re human
10. Give yourself a hug (I have a self-hug practice I do 2x a day!)

Now, while these tips might seem frivolous to some, I promise you that if you choose one to focus on each day, you will begin to notice a lightness within. Perhaps even some joy rising. You see, when you’re able to create a life that feels good and you are the one responsible for it, you come to find that no matter what hardships you might journey through, what disappointments might arise, what challenges might meet you around the corner, you will always have the tools and the foundation to not only move through it, but to also love yourself through it.

This is the magic of happiness. It’s found in the lightness of your soul, the love in your heart and the peace you discover when you realize that you will always be there for you and you will always have your back!


Shari Alyse is the best selling author of the book, Love Yourself Happy. She is also a motivational speaker and self-love coach. If you’d like to work with Shari, you can find out more about her at www.ShariAlyse.com

[FOOD] Summer Squash Pie by Deborah Hunter

There are few things I enjoy more than a casual gathering of friends and family on a beautiful Sunday morning for brunch.

What an absolute joy to have my home filled with the aroma of kindness love and laughter as we wash away the cares of the week with  warm cups of flavored coffee, cold glass of orange juice and chilled glasses strawberry champagne and indulge ourselves with a array of delicious bites of foods that rest on a table filled with fresh cut flowers and fruits served on platters of beautiful brightly colored dishes.

My menu is both elegant and simple, and the crowd favorite is my “Summer Squash Pie”. This dish is not only one of my favorites, but it’s everything that a Sunday brunch dish should be: light, beautiful, fresh, delicious, satisfying, and inviting.

SUMMER SQUASH PIE
This dish is prepared in a large cast-iron skillet which easily transposition to your table  making it a perfect centerpiece;

• 1 cup of asparagus cut into tiny pieces
• 1 yellow or red bell pepper seeded and cut into small pieces
• 5 to 6 small yellow squash
• 4 large eggs ( whip your eggs until there’s no streaking/without adding salt or pepper)
• 1/2 Cherry tomatoes cut in half’s
• 1/2 freshly grated Parmesan cheese
•1 medium red onion chopped
• 1/2 cup Green onions finely chopped
• sea salt
• freshly ground pepper corn pepper
• less 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons Olive oil

INSTRUCTIONS
(Note this dish is prepared on top of the stove and finished in the oven and as always make sure all of your ingredients are properly prepared prior to starting this recipe)
Let’s get started!

(Preheat your oven to 355°)
on medium high heat place your cast iron skillet on top of your  stove
Add  less 1/4 cup of olive oil to your cast iron skillet also add a small amount of salt and pepper to your oil
Next add your asparagus and bell pepper and allow them to  cook for about 2 minutes *Reduce your heat to medium low now layer your squash tomatoes and onions interchanging layers
Once your vegetable layers have been set in place add 2 tablespoons Olive oil sprinkle on a small amount of salt and pepper  pour your egg mixture covering your vegetables well 
*Reduce the heat once again to low heat and allow your egg to lightly firm up about (2 minutes)
add your Parmesan cheese place in the oven for 18 -20 minutes
serve and enjoy this delicious dish!

Looking for more delicious dishes to add to your menu? Don’t forget to get your copy of
MY DELICIOUS MISSISSIPPI LIFE COOKBOOK by Chef Deborah L.Hunter.

TAKE TEN with Award-winning Author T.M. Brown

by Cyrus Webb

It has been so much fun watching award-winning author T. M. Brown rise over the past few years. We have never met in person, however, I am glad to call her not just a colleague as well as a friend. 

She is ending 2019 as author who has introduced her books to the world and is not showing any signs of slowing down any time soon. In this Take Ten you'll get a feel of who she is, her work and what's to come. 

Tina, excited about the opportunity to share your story with our readers. First, what has it been like for you this year to see the way that readers have responded to your work?
It appears suddenly, readers are finding me like never before!  I credit a lot of this to the networking that I’ve been able to do over the years.  Folks like you Cyrus, Meredith Hammond, Cruz Sherman and many of my author friends have been providing unbelievable support to me and my books.

Have you always known that you were a storyteller?
Honestly, I did not.  As a kid, I truly thought that everyone had the ability to make up stories.  Story-telling came easy to me although I rarely shared my gift with anyone.  I was a shy kid and would have been just fine blending in with my peers.  I had enough stuff going on in my life at that time.  I did not want any attention drawn on me. 

When did it become clear that sharing stories was going to be part of your journey?  
For many years, I was happy just carrying my manuscript around with me and not sharing it with a soul.  There was comfort in doing the work that later became A Life Not My Own.  The competitive side of me started to blossom as I gained self-confidence.  I felt like my memoir was just as good as many others that I had read.  I also felt like my story would reach those who maybe didn’t have a voice or the ability to write.  I wanted people who had experiences similar struggles to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  They are not alone.

Fear is one of the things that stop so many creatives from doing what they love. Have you ever had to deal with that as to whether you thought others would appreciate your gift? 
It still plagues me!  With every new book, I feel the pressure that comes from wanting it to be received as well as the previous. 

A LIFE NOT MY OWN is without a doubt a personal book for you. What is it like to reflect on the woman you were and who you are today? 
I feel like the woman that was in the past is totally different person from who I am today. I did a lot of work to get to where I am.  Life presented me with challenges, and I took them on, fighting my way through.  I’m also very proud to have survived it all.  I know I didn’t do it on my own.  I thank the Lord for all the folks that he placed in my path back then.  Some kept me safe when I didn’t even know I needed saving. 

The only time my previous self shows up is when I’m angry!  It’s the weirdest thing.  Those survival skills that I learned will kick and then, whew!  Look out!

History is also a part of your work. Is history something you have always been a fan of? 
For me, studying history is about studying people and the events that occurred.  Human behavior has always fascinated me.  It becomes even more interesting when people are faced with adversities. 
Some excel, while others seem to fall apart.  Even when I was in the Army, I found this to be true.

Strong women are also a big part of your fiction. How have you benefited from the examples of strong women? 
I was raised by my grandmother who is a very strong woman.  She’s in her 90’s and still lives on her own, only recently requiring a little help.  She raised my sister and I to be strong, independent women.  When I look back on my life, I know without a doubt that the lessons she taught me have served me well.

Social media has been a big way all of us have stayed connected. How has that helped you in sharing your stories with the world? 
Connecting with folks through social media is something that I’m still trying to master.  I feel like the game keeps changing as more sites become available and its users find different ways to connect.  My followers are awesome.  I don’t have to ask them to support me.  They just do!  It’s a good feeling to know that my words have touched people around the world.

Tina, I’ve noticed you have also been making yourself available for authors to reach out to for advice and direction. Why has that been important for you? 
It's important to me to help my literary colleagues whenever I can.  I gladly assumed the responsibility of sharing what I’ve learned along this walk.  I truly wish that someone would have taken me by the hand and provided me guidance when I first started this walk.  Maybe I would have gotten more sleep!  I didn’t sleep for days before my first book signing!

An obvious question would be what’s next for you? Got a new book you’re working on?
It feels like its time share what my Christian walk is like for me now.  I think some will be surprised.  I did not grow up in the church.  My relationship with the Lord is very personal and probably somewhat unconventional.  The words are pouring out of me!

Thanks again for your time, friend. How can our readers stay connected with you?
My website is www.authortmbrown.com.  Email authortmbrown@yahoo.com  I’m also on Facebook, Instagram. LinkedIn, Goodreads, etc.. :)

Conversations' Top 15 Books for Young Readers in 2019

Conversations is excited to share it's Top 15 Books for Young Readers in 2019 as chosen by book club President and founder Cyrus Webb. As in the past the list features established authors as well as those who are rising stars.



Conversations' Top 15 Books for Young Readers in 2019 (listed in no particular order)

1. Ballpark Mysteries Super Special #4: The World Series Kids by David A. Kelly (Random House)
2. Almanac 2019 (National Geographic Kids)
3. Child of the Dream by Sharon Robinson (Scholastic Press)
4. The Little Dragon by Sheri Fink (Whimsical World Books)
5. Dork Diaries:Tales from a Not-So-Best Friend Forever by Rachel Renee Russell (Aladdin/Simon and Schuster)
6. Something Like Gravity by Amber Smith (Aladdin/Simon and Schuster)
7. Vengeance Is Mine: The Reaping by Calogero Bradley (BlaqRayn Publishing)
8. Mo's Bows: A Young Person's Guide to Start-Up Success by Moziah Bridges (Running Press Kids/Hachette Book Group)
9. Oh, The Things I Can Be When I See Me by Valerie J. Lewis Coleman (Pen of the Writer, LLC)
10. Kidz Biz Book 3: Making All the Kidz Biz Rules by Gwen Richardson (Cushcity Communications)
11. But Mommy It's Not Fair! I Am Not Alone by Sherria L. Elliott (4Elliott Publishing)
12. Ginger's Neighborhood by I. Krystal Smith & Sharon T. L. Jackson (Get-Success Publishing)
13. That's Me by Donna Marie Leonard (Donna Marie Leonard)
14. Summer Camp Fun with Grandson by Lisa W. Beckwith (Shero Publishing)
15. Mother of Many by Pamela M. Tuck (Mascot Books)

Remembering Anthony Ellis

by Cyrus Webb

I first interview author Anthony Ellis in 2012 and had the privilege of sharing his story of being HIV positive and dealing with his personal demons both on the radio show Conversations LIVE and in the pages of Conversations Magazine that year.

His book HE GOT THAT PACKAGE is an intimate look at his Ellis' journey and what it's been like to share his journey with the world in the hopes of educating others. Unfortunately he passed away this year (2019). I had the opportunity to interview his mother Brenda Ellis on the radio about his life and his newest book.

Below you will find my interview with Anthony Ellis that ran in Conversations Magazine in 2012. Enjoy and may it inspire you to see why your story matters.

__________________________________


"I can remember the first time I heard the term "package" when talking about HIV, and I remember thinking out sad it seemed. Imagine being the person that is being referred to and having to live with not just the disease but the stigma as well." ~ Anthony Ellis

I was introduced to him earlier this year, and was immediately a fan not only of his book He Got That Package but his mission to educate others about HIV and the importance of loving yourself. Diagnosed in 1993 at the age of 23, Anthony thought at the time that his life was over. What the now 41 year-old has since learned is that in many ways a new journey had begun, one where he could not only appreciate his own gift of life but help others to live life on purpose.

Anthony allowed Conversations LIVE to be the first radio show to share his story, and he entrusted me with the opportunity to chronicle his experiences in this interview. This is our conversation...

Anthony, thank you for agreeing to talk with me about your book and your life. I know you were twenty-three (23) years old when you discovered you were HIV-positive. What caused you to get tested?
Cyrus I thank you for this opportunity to share my testimony. The way this all started is that I had gotten sick and went to the Emergency Room. After some tests I was advised to have an HIV/AIDS, because I was told that my immune system was too low for someone my age.

And the test came back positive. What initially was going through your mind?
I couldn't believe it. I was in denial at first. It just couldn't be true. You have to remember most of the information we had at that time made me feel like HIV was pretty much a gay man's disease. Being heterosexual, I just didn't think that I could get it or had to worry about it. After I took the first test I decided to take two more. Each one came back the same. Positive. At that point I knew it wasn't a game. It was real.

I learned that there are four ways you can get the disease: blood, breast milk, vaginal secretions and semen When I found I was kind of angry with myself. I felt like I should have known.

Anthony, had you had any symptions or signs that would have alerted you to anything being wrong?
Not at all. I had felt like my health was pretty good until then. I had never been hospitalized or anything. Growing up I was pretty healthy.

So did you see HIV as a death sentence?
Yes I did. Society told you that if you had HIV that you were going to die. I conditioned myself to live that way. I told myself that since I was going to die there wasn't really any reason to live. Alcohol and drugs became my way of dealing with it. I saw it as a way out for me.

But you're still here. What changed?
After a few years of giving myself over to alcohol and drugs something in me just woke up. It was then that I realized that HIV and AIDS weren't going to kill me. I was doing it to myself. I knew then that I had a chance to live.

That's powerful, Anthony. After you had the epiphany about your being here is when you decided to write the book?
I started writing HE GOT THAT PACKAGE: about 3 1/2 years ago. I hadn't thought about writing a book before, but I realized I had an opportunity to join in the conversation about HIV and try and help slow this disease down and stop it. I had been through so many emotional changes through this disease that I knew I could help someone. I was ashamed of the "package", and that is where the name of the book came from. My goal was and still is to help others get rid of the ignorance still surrounding HIV.

For some people others finding out about them being HIV positive is a concern. Was it for you?
When I first found out the first person I told was my first cousin who was very close to me. To be honest other than family members I didn't tell any one. I kept it a secret. I was really living a double life. I now know that anytime you have to try and hide a part of yourself from society you aren't going to be able to really live. Back then, though, I thought people would judge me.

In the book you discuss the issue of faith quite a bit. How has your belief system changed or evolved since living with HIV?
I was raised up as a child in the church. I knew about God, but I didn't really have faith in Him. That has changed tremendously. Now I know that God is the only reason why I am still here. I thought that life was over for me, but it is my faith in what is possible that continues to keep me strong.

Thank you again, Anthony, for sharing this story with us and the world. What do you hope people take away from your book when they finish it?
The book came out in November 2011. After reading my book I want you to ask yourself this question: Are you positive you are negative? Get tested. The life you save might very well be your very own.

Conversations Book Club's 50 Best Books of 2019

We love books! And for 13 years Conversations Book Club Founder and Media Personality Cyrus Webb has been sharing his pick of books that he has enjoyed that he believes readers around the world would as well. In 2019 he presents his most diverse list to day, sharing 50 books (25 fiction and 25 non-fiction) titles for adults that are sure to entertain, engage and encourage you.

Conversations' 25 Best Non-Fiction Books of 2019
(listed in no particular order)

1. Yes, I'm That Guy by William Sanderson (BookBaby)
2. The Beautiful No by Sheri Salata (Harper Wave)
3. My Life, My Way by John Schneider (Maven Entertainment)
4. The Parrot's Perch by Karen Keilt (She Writes Press)
5. There's Something Your Son Needs to Tell You by Vernon Ennels, Jr.
6. The Revolution Will Be Publicized by Joy Elan (Joy Elan)
7. Lead Like Walt by Pat Williams (Health Communications Inc)
8. The Iconist by Jamie Mustard (BenBella Books)
9. Becoming Super Woman by Nicole Lapin (BenBella Books)
10. Identity Leadership by Stedman Graham (Center Street)
11. Success Factor X by Jill Liberman and Sean Kanan (Plain Sight Publishing)
12. Prison Or Passion by R.K. Russell (Jack Wild Publishing)
13. Resilience by Judy Stone, MD (Mountainside MD Press)
14. Hurricanes by Rick Ross (Hanover Square Press)
15. African Samurai by Thomas Lockley and Geoffrey Girard (Hanover Square Press)
16. The Courage to Step out of the Familiar by Dennis Perkins (Xulon Press)
17. Love Yourself Happy by Shari Alyse (Wellness Ink Publishing)
18. Darkness to Light by Lamar Odom (BenBella Books)
19. Your Life Is Your Prayer by Sam Beasley and BJ Gallagher (Mango Press)
20. All Blood Runs Red by Phil Keith and Tom Clavin (Hanover Square Press)
21. Survival Math by Mitchell S. Jackson (Scribner)
22. Prison by Isiko Cooks (Peter Mack Presents)
23. Stutterer Interrupted by Nina G (She Writes Press)
24. Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani (Currency)
25. Called to Forgive by Anthony B. Thompson (Bethany House)

Conversations' 25 Best Fiction Books of 2019
(listed in no particular order)

1. A Minute to Midnight by David Baldacci (Grand Central Publishing) 
2. I'm Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagan (Lake Union)
3. The Last Widow by Karin Slaughter (William Morrow)
4. Grace by Dan Burns (Chicago Arts Press)
5. A Love Story to Remember by Linda Diane Wattley (Pen It! Publications)
6. Love and Happiness by Ben Burgess, Jr. (Urban Renaissance)
7. Greed by Victoria Christopher Murray (Simon and Schuster)
8. The Speed of Falling Objects by Nancy Richardson Fischer (Ink Yard Press)
9. Finding Cade by Bernice Layton (Limitless Publishing)
10. Beneath the Attic by V. C. Andrews (Gallery Books)
11. Devil's Sympathy by A. Shane Etter (Thomas Max Publishing)
12. The Accidental Road by Jodi Lea Stewart (Fire Star Press)
13. Bread Bags and Bullies by Steven Manchester (Luna Bella Press) 
14. When I Got Out by Peter Seth (The Story Plant)
15. Murder from Scratch by Leslie Karst (Crooked Lane Books)
16. The Patient by Steena Holmes (Lake Union)
17. The New Girl by Daniel Silva (Harper)
18. Beside Herself by Elizabeth LaBan (Lake Union)
19. Trophy Life by Lea Geller (Lake Union)
20. Fake by John DeDakis (Strategic Media Books)
21. K3 by Tracie O'Neil Horton (Outskirts Press)
22. Out of the Shadows by Natasha D. Frazier (Encouraging Works)
23. Trespassed by Sonya Visor (Covenant House Press)
24. The Unforgivable Sin by D. B. Corey (D. B. Corey)
25. Lost at Sea by Linda Bello-Ruiz (Mariah Publishing)

Mary Ellen Ciganovich: Sharing Her T.R.U.T.H. with the world daily

by Cyrus Webb

If you are someone who is looking for daily inspiration and positivity then look no further than Mary Ellen Ciganovich. She and I have been friends for years and in 2018 she released her book T.R.U.T.H that has spawned a media brand that includes a weekly show on Instagram and a daily radio segment through Conversations Daily News. 

In this chat we discuss the year that's been 2019, what it's been like for her to overcome challenges and remind us all of what is possible. 

Mary Ellen, a lot going on with you this year. Not only are you still celebrating your book T.R.U.T.H. (Taking Responsibility Unleashing True Healing) but you are also the co-host of the live show “Truth of the Day” as well as the host of your own daily segment called “Truth of the Day”. What has it been like for you to see how the “Truth of the Day” brand has grown? 
It definitely has been an amazing journey, a dream coming to fruition and full of so many wonderful blessings along the way. 

Did you know when you started sharing the “Truth of the Day” messages online that they would expand the way that they have?  
I began writing the “Truth of the day” posts in a way to promote my first book,” Healing Words, Life Lessons to Inspire.” I thought if people enjoyed my “Truth” posts they would enjoy,” Healing Words, Life Lessons to Inspire. “ The Truth of the day posts really took off and while my first book did well, my readers kept urging me to write  T.R.U.T.H book or a book of my daily posts. So I sat down and took an entire year to write, “ T.R.U.T.H  Taking Responsibility Unleashes True Healing.”

You have definitely had your challenges and setbacks in life, Mary Ellen. What has kept you pushing onward?
The one thing that has always kept me moving forward is my Faith – and also my readers! Every time I would think about quitting writing my Truth of the day posts God would send a reader with a comment about how that particular posts helped them or kept them going. My readers reinforced my own faith that I must continue writing in order to aid in the healing of our society. 

Do you think one of the reasons your message is reaching so many is because they can resonate with your journey?
Everyone has a journey and ALL of us face difficulties no matter what we look like or economic level we come from. We are all here to learn and WAKE UP to so many incorrect societal truths. My Truth of the day posts resonate with so many people because I know people are searching for the Truth and they are tired of having superficial, platonic answers tossed their way. 

We have all heard the saying ‘do it afraid’. How have you been able to face the fear in your own life and do things that might have scared you at one time? 
This is a tough question, and the answer is simple as God put me in a place where I had no choice. It was either face your fear or ( in my case) allow my MS monster to take over. I also had a near death experience- way back – in 1974 . After a very horrible experience, I attempted suicide by taking an entire bottle of pills. I was in a coma for 3 days and went to a very dark cold place first until a doorway opened and a very beautiful bright light appeared. I floated up to it only to be told by Christ /God that what I had done was very bad and I had many purposes to fulfill on Earth. As soon as the door slammed shut I was awake and in intensive care. Hopefully now I am completely some of that purpose. So as you can imagine,  fear is not an option. 

The book T.R.U.T.H. has 366 messages for us to read and reflect on. How did the book come about? 
As a result of trying to promote my first book. It also has 366 because my Father in law, who is now passed on was born on leap year so the extra day is for him! The peacock is on the cover because peacock’s get their beautiful tail feather colors from eating thorns. The harder the thorn is to digest the more beautiful color in the tail. I relate this to all of us going through our trials and tribulations.  As we learn we become beautiful people living in peace and harmony.

Ego is one of those things you have written and talked about a lot. Why is it so important to keep the ego in check when pursuing your passion and going day to day in life?  
I call the ego – our devil.  Your ego will get you into trouble every time. Ego is full of expectations,  motives and judgments. Your ego is full of worry, doubt and self loathing, even when you think it isn’t.  Your ego and your thinking self need to be quiet while you listen to your intuitions, knowing’s, and God which will always speak to you from your soul level when you are quiet .(or your gut)

Like I said lots of great things already happening. What is next for you?  
I have no idea what is next . I do have a new book outlined and an autobiography that no one would believe.  I think I will just see where God leads me. 

Any advice for those out there who are on the fence about pursuing their goals and dreams?
The advice I would give to everyone listening is to follow your passion. Do not allow any one or anything to stop you. Ask yourself,  what do you love to do? Then go about finding a way to make money by doing it. 

Thanks again for the time, Mary Ellen. Your book T.R.U.T.H. is available on Amazon. How can our readers stay connected with you and get T.R.U.T.H. for themselves?
My website is www.askmaryellen.com.