There Is Power Housed In Surrendering

by Mary E. Gilder

As I sit in my home office preparing for the launch of my second EVEN A MAN CAN HAVE A BROKEN HEART I began to reflect on my favorite topic: LOVE.

My thoughts lead me to think about how as a Society we are driven by who has what, what IT cost, where IT was purchased, can I purchase IT, how can I forever preserve IT and since I don't have IT I must be  lacking!!! Even if to others we appear to have everything, sometimes it never seems to be enough.

Recently, I moved from one residence to another and that move prompted me to lighten my load. Initially, the thought of letting go of the possessions I had not utilized in years was difficult for me to process, but once I let go of the boxes upon boxes---upon boxes---of 'stuff', it was healing. I say healing because my journey felt lighter. Of the many items I donated, I can't recall 80% of what I once viewed as sacred treasures.

Numerous donations were given to a local Shelter and days later when I returned, I observed residents wearing some of the items I donated. My heart rejoiced.

Once I let go of my attachment to the excess, my heart was more open to focus on what was truly important; which for me is LOVE and the relationships within my life. Did you know that there is a POWER housed in surrendering?

My advice to you as we transition into my favorite season, lighten your load, let go of the excess and focus on all the represents true wealth. For me it's represented in family, friends and maintaining a strong foundation built on LOVE.

Love, Peace and Endless Joy,  

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the recently released non-fiction title Even a Man can Have a Broken Heart and the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself.  Mary is available for book signings and speaking engagements. Contact her at: bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com or visit her website at: www.marygilder.com. 

Mary's Motivational Message... Celebrating A Milestone

Earlier this year family and friends gathered as I celebrated yet another Birthday milestone.  Honestly, like most of my fellow Aquarius, when it comes to celebrations, we are the life of the party. However, on that night--my night--I felt as though I was in a dome, feeling as though my words and emotions were imprisoned. I was simply overwhelmed.

Following dinner all returned to my home, and as I entered my haven I felt alive. My Brothers’ Jazz CD (Secrets) was entertaining all, champagne was overflowing and the energy from the various conversations filled the room with a warmth that felt soothing to my soul.

Prior to the cutting of the cake, I was asked to take a seat. All stood around me and shared what my journey has meant to them. In addition, all wrote their thoughts and placed them in a vase to be read in solitude.

 Before concluding, I was asked to share a few words pertaining to what I was feeling. I will set aside a moment and share with you the message I delivered:
“This past year has been nothing less than a process for me. Following my 2013 Birthday, I immediately went into a zone that I can only describe as mini crisis. I was moving towards a milestone and regardless of my resistance, it was awaiting my arrival. And as the months passed, I set aside time to reflect on the cause of this emotional tango consuming my spirit.

"As I sat in solitude and reflected on my journey, I came to understand the relevance of “TIME” and how “TIME” has a direct impact on my gift to the world. The impact it has had on my legacy and my words. Regardless, of my accomplishments, my legacy transcends through my written work. And as I approached February 2, 2014, I was somehow feeling as though there may not be enough “TIME” for me to achieve the impact I was sent here to fulfill. I know that HEAVEN’S beauty is beyond our scope but GOD knows that I’m enjoying every moment here, impacting the world like so many others with messages of “HOPE”.

"I love hard each and every day and I take nothing for granted. Especially, my journey and the family and friends who place no condition on the love they extend…”

Long after the last guest departed, the dishes packed away in the dishwasher and the Birthday Cake refrigerated…I lay in my bed reflecting on this truth: The power housed in my journey is not measured in “TIME”. It’s measured in me continuing to live each and every day as though it were my last.

My message to all is to be cognizant of how one lifetime is not enough time to learn the lessons housed in one’s journey. As long as we exist our growth is continuous. With this knowledge, embrace lessons learned and the legacy you mold each and every day of your visit.
Love, Joy and Continuous Peace,                                                                                                                                                                                                      Author Mary E. Gilder                                                                                                                                                                                                            Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself and her soon to be released novel, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart. In addition, Mary is available for speaking engagements. She can be contacted at: bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com or meg@maryegilder.com 

Mary's Motivational Message: Miss Rowe

Recently, a friend and I were engaged in intriguing conversation surrounding our years in grade school. Enthusiastically, I shared sweet memories regarding one of my favorite teachers Miss. Rowe.

I shared how Miss. Rowe was beyond beautiful.  I recall her being 25-years of age. She had long blond hair, green eyes (I think they were green), a body like Beyonce and skin the color of bronze. And if that wasn’t enough, our classroom was scented with her favorite perfumes; she had this sweet southern drawl similar to Delta Burkes on the television show, “designing women.”

I would like to note: I’m not suggesting that being blond made her beautiful…the fact of the matter is Miss. Rowe was simply a beautiful woman.

Anyways, like most grade school classrooms there were challenging students but Miss. Rowe had a way about her that was very non-traditional. She utilized a lot of positive re enforcement techniques; never raising her voice or succumbing to the use of idle threats.

It was there in her classroom that I was introduced to my lifelong favorite book, “Where the Wild Things Are.”  She read that book to us every week and each time felt like the first. In addition, Miss. Rowe would bring in homemade cupcakes, pies and cookies just because. And we were rewarded with candy and gold stars for performing exceptionally well.

As I continued to reminisce about my season with Miss. Rowe, what stood out most was how one weekend per month she would bring me and three fellow class mates to her home for a weekend celebration. I believe this adventure started as a trip to the Circus or Disney on Ice; a reward for our good behavior.  All parents agreed to allow us to participate in the sleep over for added celebration.

Her life style was a reflection of her being a beautiful single woman in the 1970’s; a charming two bedroom condo with a view, a sexy car, a oversized swimming pool and plenty of space for us girls to have a ball. We would indulge in pizza, hamburgers, or tacos for dinner and snack on popcorn, candy and ice cream while watching The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and various other 70’s favorites. The very next morning, Miss. Rowe would make Pancakes, Waffles or French toast; no cold cereal or oatmeal for her girls.

After a hearty breakfast we would swim in her pool or go to the park. She devoted every moment to us (reading to us, board games, painting, coloring…etc). Miss. Rowe treated every one of us like PRINCESES. That scenario was played out one weekend each month for an entire year. Going to her home for me was equivalent to being at Disneyland.

As I grew into womanhood, I found myself asking, “Why did she give back on such a profound level?” I have pondered over numerous responses which have yielded no solid conclusion.

All four students were raised in the suburbs not the inner city; upper middle class families. All four girls represented various ethnicities. I don’t feel as though Miss. Rowe believed she was somehow saving us from deprivation or exposing us to experiences that were inaccessible. Perhaps, just perhaps, she did all that she could do and gave all that she could give simply because she loved her students!!!

It is my hope that one day in the near future to reconnect with Miss. Rowe and let her know that the gifts she extended to those four little girls had an impact far beyond what she could have imagined. The love she extended is stored in a special “safe” within my heart. I like so many others am forever grateful that GOD blessed our fourth grade class with an ANGEL.

Love, Peace and Endless Joy,                                                                                                                                                    Author-Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, “A Misrepresentation of Myself.  And her soon to be sophomore release, “Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart.”  In addition, Mary Gilder is available for speaking engagements. She can be contacted at bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com or at meg@maryegilder.com. Also, visit her website at www.maryegilder.com.  

Mary's Motivational Message: Stay Focused

Have you ever experienced a situation that left you mesmerized? Well, you are going to be blown away at how GOD reached out and delivered a message to me several weeks ago.

Many of my readers already know that my earthly assignment is that of a writer. I connected with my assignment in the seventh grade. However, recently I was contracted to work with our Vets and I was honored to do so. This short assignment required that I make a major shift within my life; relocating temporarily from family, friends, commitments and my community.

I had numerous reservations but I knew without doubt I was called for this short assignment. Every obstacle that presented was resolved. The path was cleared and all I had to do was get my business in order, pack my bags and obey.

Weeks after settling in, I found myself overwhelmed and perplexed. I knew that I was where I was supposed to be yet; I continued to host a heaviness. And the heaviness engulfed me as I dined at one of my favorite eateries weeks ago. On this day in particular, the eatery was extremely crowded and as I sat indulging, from a distance my eyes settled in on an older woman in her Sunday best. This older woman appeared to be heading in my direction.

As our separation slowly minimized, I found myself questioning the connection. Was she an acquaintance of my mom, god mother, grandmother or my Aunt Carol? She appeared to be in her eighties or early nineties and she was beyond beautiful. As she approached my table she smiled with the grace of a Queen as she stated, “Hi baby. Do you have kinfolk in Texas or Louisiana”? I responded, “Yes. My Grandmother is from Louisiana.” And, she replied, “You look just like my kinfolk.”  We shared a moment of awkward silence then she said with a heartwarming smile, “You have a beautiful day.” I replied, “Thank you.” I watched intensely as she slowly walked away towards the buffets exit.

As I reacquainted myself with my meal, I was startled by an indescribable feeling. I glanced up to find her…the beautiful older woman standing in front of my table. Her welcoming smile was gone and replaced by a no nonsense stare as she looked deeply into my eyes and gifted me with this message, “Stay focused. It is important that you stay focused.” After delivering the message she simply turned and walked away.

I don’t know where she came from but without doubt, I have come to understand that she was sent to deliver the words I needed to hear. Just like I need Food, Water and Shelter; I needed to hear those words.
As you continue to journey through your life, never forget that GOD has a plan for you.  Regardless, of what life throws your way, find reassurance in knowing that if need be, God will send one of HIS representatives to simply remind you of the importance of staying focused.

Love, Peace and Continuous Joy,                                                                                                                                                                             Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself and the soon to be released, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart.  Visit her website at www.maryegilder.com or contact her at bookclubs.maryegilder.com, meg@maryegilder.com or on face book. Author Mary E. Gilder is also available for speaking engagements.                     

Mary's Motivational Message: Soul Mate Friends

During the month of July 2010, I initiated Girl Friends Appreciation Month as a means of embracing and celebrating the beauty housed in the soul of these remarkable relationships.

Very few things annoy me however, when I hear women speak in negativity about our inability as women to have healthy and loving friendships I cringe. I cringe because I know without doubt, that perspective is far from the truth. How many times have you heard these words stated as unchallengeable facts: Women cannot be trusted, you are better off just keeping to yourself, all women do is gossip and keep up ciaos. By all means don’t have them around your “BOO” and if there being nice, they must want something!!!

Well, let me tell you about the beautiful women GOD has placed within my life. They represent various cultures, ethnicities and ideologies. But most importantly, they are extremely positive. Even when they did not have children, they found the time to celebrate mine with Love, Encouragement and Endless Support. They love me and I them. In addition, they encourage me, they motivate me and they extend to me their wisdom. Check this out, as a collective force we hold each other up, we have learned numerous life lessons from each other, we display the utmost respect, we don’t always agree but we agree to disagree and they have integrity.

Within my circle, all except for a few have been connected for numerous years; many since high school. And when we met there was one common denominator, there was this instant connection. There was no doubt or fear. However, there was this level of unbelievable comfort. Have you ever met someone and immediately you felt as though you had known them for a lifetime? I believe in “SOUL MATE FRIENDS”.

What I’m expressing to you is that there has been no conflict; no drama and no disrespect…just LOVE. If you and the women within your life constantly: Argue, Gossip, Fight, Disrespect each other, Lack trust, Dwell in utter confusion, Envy each other and Display jealousy and this is reflected in all of your relationships; please stop casting stones at others and ask yourself, “why am I attracting such dysfunction” and “why am I maintaining it within my life.” Perhaps, it’s time to start issuing pink slips because life is just too short for non-sense.

For those of you blessed with SOUL MATE FRIENDS, let them know just how much you LOVE and APPRECIATE them; for I truly believe that we learn out greatest life lessons from each other while being an example of God’s love. And as you journey through yet another month, set aside time to Celebrate and reflect on the dynamic women GOD has placed within your life, to add to your journey.
Love, Joy and endless…Peace, Remember that we women ROCK!!!
Mary E. Gilder-Author of, A Misrepresentation of Myself
www.maryegilder.com meg@maryegilder.com