"Tough Love" by Meg Collins [Relationships]

Hi everyone and welcome to Meg Collins column on relationships, dating, and many other facets of your lives that may be pertinent in 2011 and in 2012 for you, personally and professionally. Whether you are a woman or a man, this column is for all eyes in any industry. "Patti Novak, one of America's toughest matchmakers, says you may be to blame for your single status. Patti says that her years of experience have taught her one thing—millions of women have missed the mark when it comes to love." Patti continues with this comment that I would like to discuss with you today, "Somewhere along the line, and I'm really not sure [when], we lost our common sense," she says.

Ladies and gentlemen, when did we drop the ball on being of civility in dating and giving things a chance in our lives? There are many women and men that I have interviewed that clearly state, "I have given up on dating and am fine being single." Others comment that going to a local bar, attending golf matches, going to tea at elite restaurants, and going to happy hours are the best way to go in meeting a person of civility and one that may complete you as an individual. I tend to disagree with some of these comments. To meet a person of good character, you must first be a person of good character in your life. It is The Law of Attraction, in that if you put out good energies and are a person of good character and carry joy in your lives regularly, you will hence attract someone of equal goodness in your lives. Are you playing at the wrong soccerplex? Change it today. Are you hanging out with friends and colleagues that carry wisdom and a sense of good knowledge and self-esteem? As they stated in the olden days, "You are who you hang out with in life." Patti Novak definitely knows what she is talking about and is an expert in the area of dating. My question to you is what is holding you back from meeting someone and staying with them in your life or is that you are completely and utterly terrified of having someone in your life because you do not want to change habits and adapt to newness, one that could represent true love in your lives?

A few comments that I have received from people are the following, explaining why they are fearful or what obstacles they have run into in the dating process recently:

"The biggest obstacle is the lack of honesty. People need to tell the basic truth. True story- I met a gentleman on a dating site, I thought that he was attractive, seemed intelligent, employed and enjoyed the arts. After several weeks of communicating I set up a meeting. I'm not sure who showed up! He was at least 20 years older than picture, ah maybe the dated eye wear should have told me something. I'm not objecting the age as much as the dishonestly. Be proud of who you are and quit trying to be what you are not in life."

"My biggest is rejection, especially as we get older and the chore of going through the entire relationship process."

"I have had men in my live that have not claimed, until later, to be residing in an RV and recently separated, one man who was wearing an old UPS jacket and never worked for UPS as well as was driving regularly his Grandmother's car, one man picked up by SWAT team at his home due to stealing money at his job, another man who lived in a hotel and cried heavily on my recording after the first date, a man who carried a man purse, and many that were 20 years older than myself as well. The retail value of the phone headsets retailed more than the shirts on these men. Another one had a breathalyzer in his car and jogged home from a first date. I am not even sure if I should date at all at this point in my life and I am 43 years old."

"Getting all dressed up. High heel shoes hurt my feet."

"I have a lazy eye which is correctible and can be controlled, but once, on a blind date, the first thing my date told me was, "You know, you can get that fixed," and that my friends ended the date.

Let us gather together and trust our own intuitions in our lives, as 9 out of 10 times, our gut is right in life. Sharing your lives with someone is important and I truly agree with that in general. Have you started going to an elite hospital or a library lately to meet someone of true measure or done volunteer work simply because you would like to give back to society as a whole? Try something new in your life and share it with me when you embrace that different experience, as I will with you as well. Have a blessed day and enjoy your pursuits in the dating arena, as we all have a shelf life and are not certain of life's expiration date. Enjoy those around you and celebrate your life every single day and simply be who you are meant to be in your lives; enjoy the abundance of doors that burst open for you in 2012!

Sincerely,

Meg Collins

Columnist, Radio Show Host, Author, Poet, Editor, and Ghostwriter.