Quite a
few years ago, when that Tom guy was running that hugely popular social
networking site (yeah, you loved it too), I received a random email from a
15 year old boy that said, “You are an old b*#ch and should stop trying to look
so hot and stop acting like a whore.”
Wow.
That
was a bit unexpected (to say the least) and quite a message to wake up to that
day. I didn’t know the boy. I didn’t know why I received it. All I did know
was that my first thoughts were how immature he was. And then the anger and
defensiveness came over me and I started going over in my head how he’d be
lucky to have a woman like me, how I felt sorry for his parents, that he must
not have any friends, and on and on and on. Suddenly, I had the realization
that as I was going off in my head about this boy, I was acting in
the same manner he was. I was lashing out at him because of some hurt I was
feeling. I stopped dead in my tracks, took a breath and did something I had
never done before up to that point.
I
decided to act with LOVE.
I
decided right then and there that this boy needed love. I wasn’t sure
why that thought came to me, but I knew it was something that had to be done.
It didn’t need to be a novel or lecture telling him how childish and rude he
was and how he would learn one day or anything like that. It only needed to be
love. I opened up his message and simply wrote, “Love and peace to you” and
signed my name. That was it. I went on with the rest of my day.
The
next morning, I saw in my inbox that I had a new message and the sender was
this boy. My heart sunk a bit not sure what rudeness I was going to read now.
What came next almost knocked me over. It read, “I’m sorry for what I wrote
yesterday. I’m just a young, immature kid and I hope you can forgive me.” I
must have re-read that email about 10 times in that moment and had the biggest
smile on my face.
It was
right there that I knew for sure that love and kindness are
always the way to go in any situation.
I
learned right then that if I had reacted in the same manner as him,
then any lesson he could’ve learned would have been lost through the nasty
things I would’ve said. By me acting from a place of love and
kindness, he was then able to see his behavior clearly. I see it happen every
day. I see people go back and forth in fighting and never see how they play a
major part in what is happening.
The
woman who was blocking a door at the grocery store while on her phone will
never see how she was being self-absorbed and selfish because all she will talk
about and remember is the “crazy” woman who went off on her at the grocery
store. The guy who was being rude and not letting the other driver in on the
freeway, won’t see that he was not being kind, he will only remember the “animal”
on the road who flipped him off and blared his horn. The woman at Starbucks who
forgot her manners by not holding the door open for someone, will not see her
behavior, but will instead only see the angry woman who mumbled under her
breath calling a few choice swear words. All of those people now go about their
day, being upset, unhappy, pissed off and then sharing that negative energy
with all the people they come across. Do you see how this cycle works?
I,
alone, cannot bring about world peace, but I can bring inner peace to myself
and to my immediate surroundings by being guided by kindness, love, and
compassion with all those whom I come across every day. We, individually are
responsible for the energy that we bring into a room and into the world each
day. I invite you to begin thinking about what you want to leave behind when
you walk out of a room. Do you want to be that person that brings joy into it
and leaves others with a smile or do you want to be that person that brings
everyone down when you are around and then can’t wait for you to leave? We have
choices in every single moment, and even when it might seem hard to take the
higher road, it is possible and it will bring forth a
gentler and kinder world for others, but most importantly, for yourself.
When faced
with challenging situations, always remember to A.L.L.O.W. (Always Let Love
Offer Wisdom) love and kindness to guide you in all that you do.
We
never know what the other person is going through on that particular day and we
would only hope that we would receive the same forgiveness when we act in ways
that might not always be in our higher, better self. None of us are perfect,
and if we can remember as much as possible that most people just want to be
loved and felt appreciated, we can begin to act from this place of LOVE and
witness as everyone and everything in our lives begins to change. I will admit
that it’s not always easy, but as they say, it is always worth it.
By the
way, I wrote back to that boy, “Of course I forgive you. I was immature once,
too. Still am sometimes.” He simply responded with a smile. A special thank you
goes out to that young man for his apology and for allowing me now to be led by
a life of compassion, kindness, love and forgiveness.
“Treat
everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are
nice, but because you are.” − Unknown
Shari Alyse is the best selling author of the book, Love Yourself Happy. She is also a motivational speaker and self-love coach. If you’d like to work with Shari, you can find out more about her at www.ShariAlyse.com.
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