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Conversations Magazine Feb./March 2017

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Should Love Ever Hurt?


by Cyrus Webb

Should love ever hurt?

It seems like such an unnecessary question, but in the time that we live in there are still those that feel as though they have to suffer in order to enjoy love.

Over the years I have had the honor of interviewing hundreds of individuals who talk with me about the abuse they endured at the hands of those who were supposed to love them or who at least said in words that they loved them. Some told me they stayed in relationships, because that was how they thought love was shown. Still others had their innocence destroyed by predators who took from them their dignity, their sense of self-worth and the understanding of what love actually is.

As a person of faith I am reminded of what the Bible says about love in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13: "Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked...It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth...Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13:4-8 NWT)"

This should remind us that love does not hold you hostage. It frees you. It is the greatest gift God has given us to feel, and no one should ever take that away from us---and this also means that we have to be careful who we give it to.

October is typically recognized in part for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Conversations Media Group and its parent company Shadow Play Entertainment takes it a step further and looks at all forms of abuse. Over the past few years we have used it as an opportunity to share the stories of individuals who have overcome abuse and made the journey from being a victim to a victor.

On Saturday, October 15, 2011 I hosted a panel conversation on the radio with abuse survivors Freda Emmons, Dr. Loren Due and Patrick Dati. They shared their very personal stories of abuse, and how they have been able to move forward and are now in a position to help others along the way.

In the discussion we focused on the following three points when it comes from making the transition from being a victim to a victor and survivor:

1) Speaking out. Not allowing the abuser to have to power over you by causing your silence.
2) Forgiveness. Even if it is something that seems to come slowly towards the abuser, making sure that you have forgiven yourself and refuse to blame yourself for what was done.
3) Knowing that you are not alone. Making sure that you take advantage of the support group available to you all around the world. This will also let others know that they are not by themselves and may aide in their speaking out as well.

What I have learned is that no matter what you have gone through in your life it doesn't have to define you. You can take steps today to emerge from the darkness of your past and truly enjoy the life in front of you. If you missed the conversation with these brave individuals you can listen to the podcast here: www.tinyurl.com/shouldloveeverhurt.

Interested in telling your own story on Conversations LIVE? Contact Cyrus Webb at cawebb4@juno.com or at 601.896.5616. CONVERSATIONS: Feeding your love of life!

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