(Mary's Motivational Message) Holding On At All Costs

Recently I found myself reflecting on how many of us hold on at all costs.

-          We hold on to fear

-          We hold on to regret

-          We hold on to anger

-          We hold on to unhappiness

-          We hold on to a broken heart

-          We hold on to childhood pain

-          We hold on to unfulfilled expectations

-          We hold on to unhealthy relationships

-          We hold on to hopelessness

-          We hold on to a job that’s suffocating us emotionally and physically. 

-          We hold on to what keeps us from being the best version of who we are and who we have the potential to evolve into.

This is damaging because we are only here for a moment.  And those words became relevant to me several years ago while sitting in my car and hearing a baby in the vehicle next to mine crying. It was within that moment, I realized our replacements are arriving continuously.

GOD is granting unlimited opportunity for this experience/visit called life to be available to the masses. And with that said, at this very moment ask yourself, “Am I making the most out of my visit?” Are you letting go so that you can hear the direction and plan God has for your life.

I believe that the greatest gift you can bestow upon yourself is to set aside time to simply LET GO and create a space you can retreat to. A special spot that will move you to connect with the direction and assignment you were sent here to fulfill. I knew at an early age that I had been sent here to live my life out as a writer.

I wear numerous hats but being a writer is my assignment and if I had departed from here without fulfilling Gods instruction, there would have been major regret.

For those of you who have not connected with your assignment, set aside time to sit in solitude and listen for His direction. And for those who know without doubt your assignment, move towards it. Doesn’t matter if others support or encourage you, just stay focused.  It takes COURAGE to shift when you feel comfortable, it takes FAITH to shift when you have normalized being unfulfilled.

Trust me when I say that if you can find the courage to make a shift, doors will explode open and opportunity will present itself. Just LET GO OF ALL THAT IS WEIGHING YOU DOWN and trust that there is a POWER and a profound purpose housed in your birth. Let go and embrace all that is meant for you!!!

LOVE, PEACE and JOY,  

Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself, and her latest release, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart. You can contact mary at: bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com or visit her website at www.marygilder.com

[Mary's Motivational Message] Celebrating Fatherhood

Who says Father's Day is something to be celebrated once a year?

With fatherhood everyday is an opportunity to be exposed to millions of valuable life lessons/challenges and teachings that provide insight. I would like to set aside this time to share a few examples that have inspired me.

Example 1: The reality of Dads and who they are:
So often we hear and read about the men who are not being good providers, good role models and leaders for their children and families. We have all heard the reports of those men who have walked away from their families and have just detached from their responsibilities. Well I’m here this morning to tell you that the painting is not a true reflection of the entire portraits depth.  The reality is that those who do step up outweigh those who don’t. The majority of fathers are proudly standing on the front line each and every day for their families, while being the constant protector.
- They are working extremely hard to ensure that shelter is provided and warm food is on the table
- They are inspiring their daughters, encouraging their sons while being emotionally supportive of their wife or significant other
- So many of you beautiful DADS make sacrifices so that your families will have.

My mom once shared with me how my maternal grandfather, who was a proud City Employee,  so often to prolong the purchasing of new work boots, would wrap his torn work boots with duck tape because he felt that the money would be better utilized within the family home.

So many Dads are the constant protector. Many times when we think their reading the news paper or guarding the remote control, numerous DADS are actually thinking about, “Is my wife ok? Are my children alright? Will the bills be paid this month? Are there enough groceries in the cupboards? Am I doing all that I need to do? Am I being the husband and provider GOD has ordered me to be?" Not the minority but the majority of men love, cherish and adore their children beyond what we could ever imagine.

Example 2: Pertains to never giving up on your relationship with your children:
One year ago, a dad was sharing with me, his frustration with his daughter.  Years prior there had been words pertaining to him being absent from her life when she was a young child. And as a result, they had not spoken in some time. Whatever advice or suggestions I provided, he remained hopeless and bitter. How many of you DADS are filling a void because there is a rift with your child?  How many know a DAD who is facing various challenges with their child and is consumed with guilt.  Well, I’m here to say that:
- It’s never to late to transform your relationship with your child
- There are some things you can give up on but never give up on cultivating a positive relationship with your child
- God has the power  with blink of an eye lid to  bring about a healing and a understanding
- Fight for renewal in your relationship with your child and remember that through GOD all things are possible

Example 3: Pertains to Having No Regrets:
 Many of you like myself, had to say good-by to our DAD much too soon. At least you feel that it was too soon. Five years ago my father went in for an outpatient surgery and passed away on the operating table. We had shared a conversation the day before laughing, gossiping, just having a great time. His last words to me were, “sweetie, Daddy will talk to you tomorrow” but that never came.

I find it difficult searching for Father’s Day cards and not purchasing one for my dad. I miss him so much. I’m so thrilled that whatever we needed to address we did. He knew how I felt and I knew his heart as it pertained to me.

A reminder for you: this journey called life is so very short and because we are only here for moment, you don’t have a life time to re event your child. And children you don’t have a lifetime to re-invent your DAD. All you have is this moment. Enjoy your DAD, love your DAD, and cherish your DAD.

When was the last time you said Dad I love you, Dad I appreciate you, thank you Dad just because. Well, no better time than today, to get some pep in your step and spoil your daddy.  And as you journey through your life spread the love around, extending appreciation to the various Dads that you come into contact with.

And to all of you Dads out there standing on the front line 24/7 for your families, we see you, we honor you, we love you and we want you to know, that even though we set aside this day to treat you like a king and shower you with love, within our hearts we know, and acknowledge that Father’s Day is every day.

In closing, Happy Father’s day to the Father’s, God Fathers, Grandfathers, Uncles, Brothers, and Mentors. Many of you wear many hats and we love you for it, never forget that.
Love, Peace and Joy,                                                                                                                                        Mary

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself. And her soon to be sophomore release, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart. In addition Mary is available for speaking engagements. She can be contacted at meg@maryegilder.com or bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com. 

A CLASS REUNION EQUATES TO VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS

by Mary E. Gilder

                                                                                            
Weeks ago while sorting through hundreds of aged photos, my eyes settled on a photo of two friends and me on graduation day.  Most importantly, I recall that prior to me exiting the school ground; I stopped to take a final look at my classmates. Many I had known since grade school. Within that moment, I understood that hundreds of my classmates would never be seen again by me.  Interrupting my moment of sadness was a reminder that many would meet again at our ten year class reunion.

What I thought would be an eternity, came ever too swiftly. At my ten-year class reunion, I was thrilled to reunite with class-mates.  However, my excitement soon turned to disappointment. From the moment I entered the ballroom, most of my class-mates appeared to be recreating their scripts from high school. The interaction I shared with many I encountered resembled an interview.

1. Where do you live?
2. What college did you attend?
3. What do you do?
4. Do you own or rent?
5. What do you do?
6. Have you done much traveling?
7. What do you do?
8. Have you seen Fred, Ted or Jed? Well, let me tell you what it is they do
9. Again, what do you do?
10. If I haven’t mentioned, this is what I do.

The more things appeared to have changed…in actuality, they had stayed the same for several class-mates. Many of those who were arrogant, insensitive, rude…etc in high school showed no growth. There was energy in the ballroom, an energy reminding all that there was an expectation as it pertained to status and success. And many spent hours identifying those who had not lived up to the expectation.  I remember departing feeling grateful for having had the experience of seeing many of my classmates but there was also a profound sense of disappointment.

Now forward many years later during the month of July 2012, during this month I attended my class reunion with memories from many years prior. However, when I entered the event, there was a different energy in the air. There was an undeniable feeling of power. A power not based on status but a power defined by years of wisdom attained.

As I explored my surroundings I was greeted with hugs, smiles and handshakes. No one appeared to be concerned with
- My profession
- What car I owned
- My zip code
- My credentials
However, what appeared to be a consensus amongst the group:
- An appreciation for being alive and gratitude for attending the reunion
- An understanding of our many blessings
- The love we hold for our children and grandchildren
- Remembering our classmates who had passed on

We talked about what was most important and most importantly, we held the same beliefs on what that was. We agreed that family, friends, peace of mind, cherishing every moment and walking in love was most important.

I know without doubt time heals but time also teaches so many amazing lessons. How I wish that the lessons shared at my most recent class reunion, were learned prior to our ten year reunion. How less complex our life journeys would be if the lessons gained in our forties, fifties and sixties were available to us in our twenties; just a thought!

I challenge those who are far into their journey, to reach back and share with those less traveled about the lessons.  Share with them the importance of family, friends, good health, integrity, gratitude. Explain to them the importance of walking in love. Most importantly, remind them of how they are only here for a moment and the importance of treasuring their visit.

As you continue to journey I wish you Love, Peace and Continuous Joy,
Mary E. Gilder (Meg)

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, “A Misrepresentation of Myself.” Mary can be contacted at: meg@maryegilder.com or bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com. Also, visit her website at: www.maryegilder.com.

Mary's Motivational Message: A Word of Advice From A Writer On Assignment

Recently, I was sharing conversation with an individual and I mentioned how I was hard at work on a new venture and to my surprise the individual responded by stating, “I know it has been awhile since you had a job but you will master this opportunity.”

While keeping my cool, I reminded this individual of how in the last fifteen years there has only been a twelve month period were I was without employment.

The thinking of this individual is very much reflective of how numerous Americans view employment. Self-employment for many is viewed as risk taking, less productive and foolish. And if you happen to be in the ARTS (Actors, Writers, Authors, Painters, Sculptures, creators of music…etc) you are viewed as just killing time, indulging in a hobby, being lazy or not living up to your fullest potential.

My belief is that we are all here on ASSIGNMENT from GOD. HE has blessed each and every one of us with various gifts and talents. However, there is an assignment that you were sent here to share with the world on some level. Being the imperfect humans that we are, we place a value on each assignment but to God there of equal importance.

Think about this, some assignments may produce enormous wealth yet; no tangible wealth is attached to the assignment of others. However, they share equal value because the assignment comes from our creator.
Now when I say assignment, I’m referring to something very deep. You see, I connected with mine in the 7th grade. As a teen, I was fascinated with language and spent countless hours playing with words. It was in my 7th grade English class that my teacher assigned a lengthy creative writing project. The entire class was bombed but I was thrilled. I started thinking of words I could use to impress her.  And that I did. I came to understand as a 7th grader that regardless of my many life accomplishments; my assignment from GOD was to bring about enlightenment and a sense of empowerment with my written words.

Regardless, if the assignment generates minimal income or enormous wealth…the Power housed in the assignment is not reduced.

Reflect on this: If Writers and Authors put down their pens and turned off their lap tops, how would our world be directly impacted? How would your life be impacted? With out doubt you could forget about watching your favorite television shows, going to the movies; reading books, magazines and news papers. And let’s not forget about purchasing or down loading music. Also time spent at the theater and your local art galleries would cease to exist. So much of what we authors and writers do directly impact your life in ways you take for granted.

A word of advice from a writer on assignment…you may never comprehend the assignment of another because it’s not for you to grasp. GOD is not that simplistic. However, invest time in connecting with your own assignment. And when you make that connection, you will come to understand that true wealth and power is measured by something more profound than dollars and cents…it housed in each step traveled in ones journey!!!

We Writers, Authors, Actors and Music creators ROCK!!!

Love, Peace and Joy                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Author Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel; A Misrepresentation of Myself. And her upcoming release, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart. Visit her website at: www.maryegilder.com, email her at: bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com or join Mary on face book and Twitter.

Mary's Motivational Message: LETTERS OF GRATITUDE

In the past I have spoken on the subject of GRATITUDE however, recently I was encouraged to put my words into action; Actions that would transcend through me and directly impact lives.

With that said, several months ago I became affiliated with a movement called, TeamHealthMe. The vision of TeamHealthMe, is to establish a platform of encouragement as we move towards optimal health; a health balance of physical, emotional and spiritual self. The founder Tiera Gilder sums it up as, “Balancing your PESce so that you can experience true PEACE.”

Recently, she incorporated a 30-day challenge. The foundation of Day five’s challenge was focused on extending GRATITUDE. All were instructed to reflect on their individual journey while internally connecting with those who have added profoundness. That profoundness could derive from something as simplistic as a word or action that added a special something within a moment.

In addition, all were encouraged to identify three individuals who had touched their lives and forward to them a letter of heartfelt GRATITUDE.

As I sifted through my mental Rolodex, cell contacts and phone book I began to understand a reality, numerous individuals have been so good to me. Truth be told, I could write hundreds of letters acknowledging the love, kindness, generosity and mentorship that has been extended on so many levels.

In the construction of those three letters existed a power; within the core of that power housed a validation of our interconnectedness. And that connectedness is an intricate part of our identity.

As you rush through the Christmas Season and prepare for the New Year, set aside a moment to reflect on those who have stood and those who continue to stand on the front line with you. Regardless, if your act of appreciation is grand or as simplistic as a letter, continue to extend gratitude to those who have added profoundness to your journey.

Happy New Year, Love, Peace and Joy.

Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, “A Misrepresentation of Myself.” Mary can be contacted at: meg@maryegilder.com or bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com. Also, visit her website at: maryegilder.com

MARY'S MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE

                                  THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE UP UNTIL THIS MOMENT

I want you to think about your life up to 11:59 pm last night. What was weighing heavy on your heart? Was it your finances, health challenges, difficult relationships, employment issues, politics, the economy, marital difficulties; what was weighing you down?

Now, reflect on your life at this very moment, close your eyes and reflect on your life. Who are you angry with or whom did you have a rift with. Is there unfinished business with your spouse, your child, your parents, a friend, a sibling, a neighbor, co-workers or are you simply in conflict with yourself.

 What are your regrets: Failing to address your goals, not exploring your passions, failing to set aside time for family or friends. Perhaps, regrets due to wasted years abusing drugs, sex and alcohol; or years wasted being abusive towards others.

Perhaps, you regret not investing time in cultivating Love, Joy and Peace within your life. Many regret not putting value into developing a healthy relationship with GOD.

For many it is so very easy to say, “Live each day as though it where your last.” How many times have we encouraged, instructed or pleaded with others to treasure each and every moment. And for many such as myself, it has been told to us by individuals on their death bed.

Now let’s play it forward. It’s Monday morning and you are notified that this will be your last week here on earth. Your stay has come to an end because others are being born to leave their mark and create their legacy. Did you forget that your journey was simply a short visit? What would you do…What are you going to do?

-          What would be weighing on your heart?

-          Who would be weighing on your heart and what words will you convey to them?

-          What anger would you continue to harbor?

-          What anger would you release?

-          Who would you make peace with?

Oh the places you would journey too and the people you would make time to see. I’m sure that you would make a pack with yourself to treasure and embrace that week. Perhaps, wishing deep within your soul there was more time. I’m certain that you would live that week with few regrets but most importantly, you would let go of every stressor and negative thought and cling to LOVE. Within that moment you would align with LOVE and you would treasure all that is dear to you; while wishing you had “more time” to make things right.

If you awoke this morning, you have been granted just that; additional time. What are you going to do with your additional time? If you do nothing else…embrace it, celebrate it and cling to it. And treasure not only this day but live each and every day as though it were your last.

Love, Peace and Endless Joy,                                                                                                                                                                                   

Mary E. Gilder

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, “A Misrepresentation of Myself.” Mary can be contacted at: meg@maryegilder.com or bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com. Also, visit her website at: maryegilder.com

Mary's Motivational Message: Celebrating Father's Day Every Day

The month of June is a beautiful month because it is during this month we set aside time to honor DAD.   

I do believe that with fatherhood comes an opportunity to be exposed to millions of valuable life lessons, life challenges and teachings that provide insight. I would like to set aside a moment to share a few examples that have inspired me throughout the years.

Example 1: The reality of Dads and who they are:

So often we hear and read about the men who are not being good providers or good role models for their children and families. We have all heard the reports of those men who have walked away from their families and have just detached from their responsibilities. Well, trust me when I state that the painting is not a true reflection of the entire portraits depth.  The reality is that those Dad’s who do step up outweigh those who don’t. The majority of fathers are proudly standing on the frontline each and every day for their families, while being the constant protector.

-          They are working extremely hard to ensure that shelter is provided and warm food is on the table.

-          They are inspiring their daughters, encouraging their sons while being emotionally supportive of their wife or significant other.

-          So many of you beautiful DADS make various sacrifices so that your families will have what it is they need to thrive.

My mom once shared with me how my maternal grandfather, who was a proud City Employee,  so often to prolong the purchasing of new work boots, would wrap his torn work boots with duck tap because he felt that the money would be better utilized within the family home.

-          So many Dads are the constant protector. Many times when we think they’re reading the news paper or guarding the remote control, numerous DADS are actually thinking about, “is my wife ok, our my children alright, will the bills be paid this month, are there enough groceries in the cupboards, is everyone ok, am I doing all that I need to do. Am I being the husband and provider GOD has ordered me to be.

-          Not the minority but the majority of men love, cherish and adore their children beyond what we could ever imagine.

Example 2: Pertains to never giving up on your relationship with your children:

Two years ago, a dad was sharing with me, his frustration with his daughter.  Years prior there had been words pertaining to him being absent from her life during her adolescent years. And as a result, they had not spoken in some time. Whatever advice or suggestions I provided, he remained hopeless and bitter. How many of you DADS are filling a void because there is a rift with your child? How many know a DAD who is facing various challenges with their child and is consumed with guilt?  Well, I’m here to say that:

-          It’s never too late to transform your relationship with your child

-          There are some things you can give up on but never give up on cultivating a positive relationship with your child

-          God has the power  with blink of an eye lid to  bring about a healing and deeper understanding

-          Fight for renewal in your relationship with your child and remember that through GOD all things are possible

Example 3: Pertains to Having No Regrets:

For many of us Fathers Day opens up wounds that are trying so desperately to heal. Many of you like myself, had to say good-by to our DAD much too soon. At least you feel that it was too soon. Two years ago my father went in for an outpatient surgery and passed away on the operating table. We had shared a conversation the day before laughing, sharing stories; just having a great time. His last words to me were, “sweetie, Daddy will talk to you tomorrow” but that opportunity never came. I find it difficult searching for father’s day cards and not purchasing one for my dad. I miss my dad so much. I’m so thrilled that whatever we needed to address we did. He knew how I felt and I knew his heart as it pertained to me.

The message to you this Fathers Day morning is this:

 Life is so very short and because we are only here for moment, you don’t have a life time to re event your child and children you don’t have a life time to re invent your DAD. All you have is this moment. Enjoy your DAD, love your DAD, and cherish your DAD.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

When was the last time you said Dad I love you, Dad I appreciate you or thank you Dad just because. Well, no better time than today, to get some pep in your step and spoil your daddy.  And as you journey towards Father’s Day, spread the love around, as you are out and about extend a happy Father’s Day to the various Dads that you come into contact with.

And to all of you Dads out there standing on the front line 24/7 for your families, we see you, we honor you, we love you and we want you to know, that even though we set aside this day to treat you like a king and shower you with love, within our hearts we know and acknowledge that Father’s Day is actually every day.

*Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, “A Misrepresentation of Myself.” Mary can be contacted at meg@maryegilder.com or bookclubs.maryegilder@yahoo.com. Also, visit her website at: maryegilder.com