Friday, December 20, 2019

10 Tips to Love Yourself Happy by Shari Alyse

Stop beating yourself up.
Stop taking everything so seriously.
Love more. 
Laugh more. 
Forgive yourself more. 
Worry less. 
Trust more. 
Screw regrets!

We hear these words of truly sage advice and know them to ring true within our hearts, yet we still find ourselves worrying about how much we worry.

Why is it so hard to stop being so hard on ourselves? Why is it so hard to simply allow ourselves to be happy?

Pressure? Discomfort? The unknown? What if we do all the things we’ve been told to ‘do’ to be happy and yet we still find ourselves unhappy? That is why I believe so many play the lifelong chase of this elusive happiness.

In my recent bestseller, Love Yourself Happy, I write:

I know most of us are waiting for happiness. Waiting for that ‘thing’ to happen before that elusive happy shows its face. You know what I’m talking about. The ‘I’ll be happy when’ disease. I’ll be happy when I lose weight. I’ll be happy when I have more money, when I am in a relationship, when my health improves... when, when, when. 

If you’re like most of society, you’ve put your happiness on hold for what seems like an eternity because the majority of the time you’re so busy trying to achieve those things that by the time you do, you’re so freaking exhausted and mentally worn out that you forget that this is even what you wanted in the first place and had convinced yourself that it was the magic elixir to happiness. Now, you’ve discovered there’s actually something else you need that will make you happy. Phew!”

I’d like to share something with you that I find very interesting. In the most recent ‘World Happiness Report’, only about one third of the population says they are happy. Seriously! One third! That means 70% of the world is unhappy. When I really dug into this, what I came to find is that most people base their happiness (or unhappiness) on external things. And truth be told, if you’re going to put all of your ‘happy’ eggs into one basket based on something that is not secure and stable, those eggs are bound to break and you’re bound to feeling unhappy once more.

But, what if your happiness isn’t reliant on anyone or anything? What if happiness comes from one thing and one thing alone - your love for yourself?  Yes, self-love. What if you choose each and everyday to love yourself through it all? Through the ups, downs, detours and roundabouts. What if you choose to really take a deep dive within and choose to see your beauty, your power, your potential and your enough-ness. What if you choose to stop determining your worth and value based on achievements and external validation? I can tell you this - you would have a lot smoother and happier of a ride here in your life.

For today, I wanted to share 10 simple practices that you can do that will help strengthen this self-love muscle. Like anything, the more you consistently work on this, the stronger it becomes. 

10 Tips to Love Yourself Happy 

1. Accept where you are
2. Accept how you feel
3. Accept that there will be hard times
4. Pat yourself on the back
5. Do something each day that lights you up within
6. Remind yourself how far you’ve come
7. Say (at least) one loving thing to yourself every day
8. Take a risk looking silly / have more fun
9. Remember you’re human
10. Give yourself a hug (I have a self-hug practice I do 2x a day!)

Now, while these tips might seem frivolous to some, I promise you that if you choose one to focus on each day, you will begin to notice a lightness within. Perhaps even some joy rising. You see, when you’re able to create a life that feels good and you are the one responsible for it, you come to find that no matter what hardships you might journey through, what disappointments might arise, what challenges might meet you around the corner, you will always have the tools and the foundation to not only move through it, but to also love yourself through it.

This is the magic of happiness. It’s found in the lightness of your soul, the love in your heart and the peace you discover when you realize that you will always be there for you and you will always have your back!

Shari Alyse is the best selling author of the book, Love Yourself Happy. She is also a motivational speaker and self-love coach. If you’d like to work with Shari, you can find out more about her at

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