Michael Jai White: Fulfilling His Life's Assignment with Every Role (2021)

by Cyrus Webb

For many the path of Michael Jai White* is definitely that of a man who is larger than life. 

He has been able to make a name for himself as an actor, producer and Martial Arts expert with fans around the world. You can find him in roles that are as diverse and entertaining as his own passion for life, but at his core he is an individual who is just appreciative for the opportunities to do what he loves. Like the rest of us he has not been unscathed by the pandemic that has enveloped so much of our lives, but he presses onward, channeling all that he is into his art. 

In 2021 I had a chance to catch up with Michael to discuss his career, his success and what's to come. 

You've been in this unique position, Michael, of being able to do what you love, not only in front of the camera, but also in Martial Arts. What has that been like for you to take your passions and to be able to share them with all of us?

I'm blessed behind it, because I get a chance to do what what's in my heart. I felt blessed early on, because there was a time where I learned that I was following my dream. Once I learned that piece of information, I felt like I've already won. Everything else to me is just gravy. That's my attitude going forward, and no matter what, I'm gonna continue to try to just do my best.

You've been able to amass a following. I think that it's not only inspiring for other creators like yourself, Michael, but also shows people what's possible. You've been able to reach people who enjoy the drama, the comedies and enjoy the action. How does that feel to have this cross section of support from so many different arenas?

It feels great. I just keep moving forward. I don't really reflect too much on it. I know it's a good thing, but there is so much that I want to accomplish that I'm not very reflective a lot of the time.

In 2020 WELCOME TO SUDDEN DEATH was just one of the projects you starred in that had people talking. It has to do with something that means a lot to you, Michael, that being family. What was it like for you to see the way that even through the pandemic people were responding to it. 

I'm finally getting the chance to play characters that are closer to myself. I understand you have to pay the dues and play characters that sometimes paint you a certain way. There were people that used to be frightened of me because I played a lot of rough characters. Friends of friends would say, 'Oh, I saw Mike. but I didn't want to go up to him because, you know, I'm kind of scared.' My friends are like 'No, he's a nice guy,' but I understand that sometimes you play a character that's pretty menacing or whatever, and they kind of define you by that. 

Well, [Welcome to Sudden Death] was a great opportunity, because I can really show the real me in a lot of those situations. I am a husband and a father, and my family is like a sitcom. We don't bicker. It's no drama. There's a lot of laughs. I was able to bring that into my movie.

You have fans literally around the world, Michael. Has it become a comfortable thing to look at yourself as an example for others in your industry?

We're always going to be examples, no matter what. Again, I don't really think too much about it. I'm one that is very uncomfortable with accolades and compliments. I enjoy lifting other people up more so than receiving anything myself. I'm painfully shy when it comes to that. 

I've been put on the earth as an entertainer. It's about service, right? So I'm entertaining people, and people are responding to it. That is a great thing for me. Even though I'm at the forefront of it, it's so not all about me. It's really all about what I'm providing.

Stay connected with Michael on Instagram at www.instagram.com/officialmichaeljai

*     Photo Courtesy Jaigantic Studios

COLUMBUS SHORT: Living (and Loving) Life on His Own Terms (2021)

by Cyrus Webb

There is nothing like living a life of purpose. 

For Columbus Short*,  he has had the privilege of living many lives, both in front and behind the camera, doing work that he loves and building a fan-base around the world in the process. A true renaissance man, he is an accomplished actor, producer, choreographer and recording artist. In 2020 he added another title to his list of accomplishments: that of author. His book SHORT STORIES: The Autobiography of Columbus Short allows him to tell his story in his own words and on his own terms. 

We discussed the journey that led to where he is today in this fascinating conversation. 

Columbus, thank you for the time. One of the big takeaways for me is how through the book people really get to know who you are. Have you found that to be the thing that people who even think they know Columbus Short is that this book gives them a whole different view.

Absolutely. And that was the original reason for doing the book. I kept my life private as possible, being an old Hollywood kind of guy where I still believe in mystique. The less they know about me, the more they'll believe whatever characters I'm playing. They would dive into the roles that I play. What I think tends to happen now in Hollywood and the world is we're so inside everybody's world. We know everything about people. The public wants to know everything: when you're dating, when you're pregnant, etc. So when you see them in a movie, you're kind of seeing just that person. You're not seeing the character that they're portraying.

I just felt like for all of my career I did such a good job of that until, you know, headlines kind of created a narrative, and that was all they got. That's what they were left with. This book was not only a process of healing, it was also Columbus the man writing for Columbus the child that went through a lot. 

It kind of spoke to everything. It lends to that I am human, that I am fallible... I am all of the things that people kind of think actors or people in the limelight or celebrities aren't, you know?

 How did you get to a place, though, Columbus where you could share and let us into not just the makings of the man, but also the events that kind of impacted the man?

I love that, 'the makings of a man.' It's part of the journey, I guess. I think everything that I was going through in the moment I wasn't ready for and it kind of sends you reeling. And I think I got to a place where it was like, I lost myself. When you lose your keys, for example, I was always told that you retrace your steps. Like, how did I get here? I started retracing my steps, doing the hard work on yourself with therapy and things where you really can dive into...Some things that you really never paid attention to. Life just kind of goes by and you bury certain things and block them away and you never deal with them, but they will rear their ugly head unexpectedly. So I think that's it right there.

You share an interesting story for those who have the print edition of the book it's in Chapter 7. There you talk about a plane ride that stayed with you where you were with Aaron Sorkin. We sometimes look at events in our lives and the impact they make on us. How did that plane ride impact you moving forward?

I was on Studio 60 at the time in Los Angeles, but I traveled to New York to promote Stomp the Yard, which was the movie that put me on the map. I was traveling doing a press junket for that. I was on the plane back from New York to get back to work for the next episode of Studio 60 (written and created by Aaron Sorkin). Aaron, just Shonda, never gives you the script until the table read. I don't think they're even done with the script until the day of . It's hot off the presses when we get them. We never know what's happening the next week.

I'm on the plane, and I sit down and Aaron Sorkin's next to me. He's like 'What the heck are you doing here, Columbus?' 'I'm coming back to work,' I say. We chatted for a bit, and as soon as it was time for take off he was in the zone. He opened up his draft on his computer, and he had nothing written on the page. To myself I said he hasn't written the episode, and we got a table read tomorrow. I went to sleep, and by the time we were landing he was ending the episode. Literally he was writing end episode. I was like, no way.

In that moment I realized...  This is how a pianist sits down in front of his piano and can play a chart down, same as with any musician. To be a literary mind, a literary master is something. It's a true gift to sit down and really write a screenplay, or a television episode, a teleplay or anything... And as a writer, I always wanted to have that flow. Like I was just like 'How is he thinking about his dialogue? He's just flowing. He just had a flow. It just flows like butter.'

That's when I knew I wanted to do that. I'm going to do that, and I'm going to get really good at doing that.

There are some light moments like that, Columbus, that you share, but there's also some more reflective moments and even darker ones, too. I think one of the most powerful chapters in the book for me is chapter 14, EXORCISING LITTLE WALTER.

I  learned a lot about you in this particular chapter.  One of the big things I think that you do that has made you who you are, is being able to not only to read, but to embrace a character...to become that character. And even after cut, not letting that character go.

Talk to us about the blessing and the curse of that, embracing the character but also the complexity of living the character.

It's crazy. I watched something Denzel said about this too late. I wish I would've known it before... How we are opening up our vessels, right, to embody characters. Especially when you're playing dark characters. It's a dangerous place to go. And if you're not an actor, you don't understand that, because we really go there. Most actors, if they really are worth their salt, go completely dumb to and open to the manifestation, embodiment and a possession of a character. 

And so in building that and being with a character so long... It takes 21 days to make a habit, right? If I'm walking and I'm talking like a certain way for 21 days.. I'm drinking---I never was a drinker ever---but I was drinking. I got to the point where I was drinking like it was water. It was like nothing to me, and I'm smoking cigarettes. And I was slick-talking. I was enamored by that, because that wasn't me. I very much loved it and the freedom to be that. 

If I was just this way in the streets, people would say "This is crazy." But on, and under the context (of the film), they're like, 'Wow. He's a genius." 

So when it was over with, I didn't properly cleanse my spirit of Little Walter and those habits that I acquired during that process. I didn't properly detox my mind, my body, and my spirit and clean my slate. So I just kind of just kept it. And I think those things, as wonderful as it was, I paid for. I paid a price for it: emotionally and spiritually for sure. Holyfield always tells me, 'My mama says if you don't ever pick nothing up, you don't ever have to put it down.'  That's why he never drank, never smoked. Never did any of that. I'm grateful for that learning process.

And then there was an insecurity to why I never broke character. I didn't want to lose it. I knew when I tapped in, I knew I was in and I never wanted to come out and not be able to get back in. That was  my worst fear. As I've grown so much as an actor in the game I know how to come in, and I know how to get out. That's one of the things I learned through all that, throughout that process, but it was an amazing process. One I wouldn't change for the world.

And I think it has definitely gotten you to where you are. We talk a lot about personal success.  People would look at your career: singer, songwriter, actor, producer, choreographer... You've done all these things and worked with all these amazing people, Does it feel for you that you have gotten what you wanted? It seems like along the journey that you have been searching for something or seeking something. Do you think you have found what you were looking for?

That's a really great question, Cyrus. I like this question. 

You know how in the corporate world there's upward mobility, right? If I, let's say, wanted to be a banker, I may have started in the mail room and worked my way up. My real goal is to get to that table to get to that upper, top floor office.

 I think I've looked at my career that way. Coming from the bottom as that boy from Kansas City. I got into the business, and I knew I was at the bottom. I knew I had to do guest starring roles before I could be the star. 

Everything has been like stepping stones. I'm always like 'Okay, what's next?' I'm always thinking about what's the next proper step, because I never wanted to fast-track myself or try to cut a corner. I wanted to do everything the right way. 

And I was like, 'I can do this. I know I can assemble and acquire a slate of great material, continue and be a job creator and be a creator, because I am a creator. I've been a creative my whole life. I wanted to be on the front lines of bringing great content and telling great stories. Not just African-American stories. Stories to audiences around the world. And so I think that was always my goal.  I was paying my dues, and there were times that I got impatient. If I would've just been a little bit more patient at the time, my day was coming. Right before my day came, I had a fall...but the fall is just part of the story.

I also think the fall is part of the test to see what I was really made of. It was never going be that easy. I can a voice in my head saying 'You thought you were going to get here like that? You thought you were going to just walk up in here and take over the game?' I think this was the test. What am I built of? What am I made of? Can I be an example? Can I be a leader? 

If I can't produce my life, how can I produce a movie? So once I realized I got to produce my life first then I realized I can now produce whatever I want. That is where I am now.

Stay connected with Columbus on Instagram at www.instagram.com/officialcshort and on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ColumbusShort1. 

* All photos of Columbus Short by Erik Johnson

TAKE TEN with Dr. Velma Bagby, author of THE CATCH Series (2023)

by Cyrus Webb

Dr. Velma Bagby is an individual on a mission. In 2022 she started an important series of conversations about dating and marriage with the release of her Catch Series.

Dr. Velma, congratulations again on the success with THE CATCH NO ONE WANTS. What has it been like for you to see how readers are enjoying the story?

I am in awe! The responses have been more than I expected. Based on feedback from the reviewers, Clubhouse conversations, and podcast interviews, I’ve heard from readers who understood and appreciated Veronica’s journey with her dad’s support. Readers felt their relationship was special.

Regarding the fish stories, some said, “Where was this book when I dated all four of the fish in the book?” And one reviewer said they were ordering a second book for “a co-worker who is dating a Catfish.” I love the fact that readers are referring to the characters’ fish titles, such as the catfish or the pufferfish. Hearing and reading these responses encourages me, but also confirms what I hoped—that women find something they can relate to or find nuggets in the book that they can use for themselves or share with others. One surprising outcome was the fact that several men also found the book interesting as well.

You have written other books before The Catch series. What do you think separates the novel THE CATCH NO ONE WANTS FROM THEM?

The CATCH is different in the sense that it represents my debut in the Christian Contemporary Fiction genre. This genre provided me the ability to begin a new journey in storytelling and as a result, it became more than a story that entertains.

The reactions to the book have also made it feel different from all my other books. Besides the special relationship of a daughter and father, there were many who reacted to the use of the fish analogies which shows the similarities between the personalities of fish and men—some felt the analogy was “genius,” while others were excited about how the comparisons were both fascinating and perfectly matched. While a guest on a radio panel, the host asked me to introduce my book. Afterwards, another participant on the show remarked, “The fish stories sound like they can be in a play or movie.” Hearing the words was inspiring.

Although there are entertaining elements in the book, more importantly, is the underlying message. In the end, after all the components were in place for the stories, I felt such a sense of accomplishment when the book was complete.

We have had a chance to talk about how your writing journey started. When did you know that writing was something you were meant to do?

Writing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I did not consider myself a writer until sometime later. While growing up in church, I wrote skits for the children’s church and youth groups. As a Bible Study teacher, I created content for class discussions, as well as the degree courses for the school of biblical studies. Later in my work life, I designed and developed programs, conducted continuous process improvements, as well as created training modules for new managers. As I look back on my career, I discovered that my favorite aspect of my job as a Deputy Administrator in the State government was my love for continuous improvement—whether it was a program, a process, or a person looking for a career. This experience helped me discover my love for making a program or process more efficient and client driven. Driving this work was my desire to improve the experience of the staff who performed a service, while also improving the benefits a person received after accessing the service.

Later, with my daughters’ encouragement, I felt the call to publish my first book after retiring from my State government job in 2012. The book was based on our conversations around a question they asked, “Mom, why are men so slow?” It took some time to dig a little deeper into the scriptures for answers before I responded to their question. My two registered nurses were not interested in fluff and would expect a more in-depth discussion. Because of where they were in their lives, I needed to familiarize myself with what the scripture said about singles and marriage. I set aside all the ‘how-to’ books in my library and studied the scripture; and as a result, discovered some new things I had not seen before. My conversations with my daughters resulted in my messaging—to “date with intent” and the fact that “marriage belongs to God—we just get the benefit of having a mate.” As we began having regular conversations about God’s process of presenting their mates, with a focus on working on themselves, they found what I shared intriguing and wanted to know more. As our conversations progressed, they shared our talks with friends, and those friends wanted to know more—soon, my daughters encouraged me to put our conversations in a book.

My debut as an author occurred with my first published nonfiction book in 2018, “Your Adam Is Asleep Until God Opens His Eyes—A conversation between a mother and her daughters about men.” This was my first book about dating, relationships, and marriage. It was a call to action for singles, who focused more on the search for a man than taking time to prepare themselves for marriage, and for married couples looking for a reset.

Talking about relationships is not always easy. You have even written about your own relationships and marriage. Have you always been so transparent?

Yes, I try to be open and transparent. I remember talking with my daughters and husband about how important it was for us to be transparent when I prepared to publish my first nonfiction book. I wanted the book to reflect our truth. We agreed it was important to be open and honest so that what we talked about would resonate with those reading the book.

In the Kindle of “My 70s Love Story,” I wanted to be honest about the process of discovering my mate. The story includes some humor about how God did it, as well as the bumps in the road along the way. I learned the importance of yielding to God’s timing and His way.

In my first fiction book, “A Place Called Down-Why Christians Suffer,” I wrote about an experience suffering from three health attacks during 2019, which lasted most of the year. I provided my initial reaction, which was to question, “why me?” I felt as a believer, I was doing everything a good Christian should at the time and questioned why this season was happening. I shared what God showed me and what He taught me through the experience.

You have been active on social media even before the release of THE CATCH NO ONE WANTS. What has that been like for you to touch the world online?

The most profound experience was when I began posting snippets from my book, “My 70s Love Story.” I could not believe how many high schoolers began following me. It was as if they were fascinated by the 70s dating experience—when life was simpler. I even compared the 70s dating experience to pandemic dating, after the pandemic hit. The pandemic did not allow dates to meet in person, conversations were by Instagram or phone, This experience helped me to find an audience for dating issues.

When people read THE CATCH NO ONE WANTS what do you hope they remember about Veronica’s journey?

Veronica’s dad is a pastor who wanted to ensure his children and the singles in his church understood the difference between dating socially and dating with an intent (purpose) to marry. Dating for marriage changes the strategies, the goal, the questions, and the approach to dating. I explain the principles of dating with an intent to marry in more detail through the lives of the book characters and even more in the Homework Basket.

Veronica’s journey represents a story of hope and redemption—initially lost, thanks to her dad, Veronica was able to find her way. This book was written with the hope that Veronica’s story will resonate with other single women who have faced or will face similar challenges in their dating lives. It’s my hope this book provides them answers, insight, laughter, reality, help, and hope. End the end, may the readers find useful tools to help them achieve their marriage goal. 

Dr. Velma, what advice do you have for others when it comes to writing and sharing their story?

It is never too late to realize your dream. If I can begin my journey at age 64, you are not too late. This is your goal, so put in the work. Read as many “how-to books” as you can to understand what’s required for the genre you plan to write. Read books of others within the genre you are interested in so that you can learn from published authors. This is not an island experience, connecting with other authors for support and to learn is helpful. Sign up for their blog, especially if they blog about the writing journey.

Thanks again for your time. How can our readers stay connected with you? 

Thank you for the opportunity. They can find me at the following:

Website: https://drvelma.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrVelmaB

Instagram/Author: https://www.instagram.com/drvelmabagby_author

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/BagbyVelma

LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-velma-bagby-85b476125

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18185844.Velma_Bagby

SPOTLIGHT: Sherontelle Dirskell, Celebrity Publicist/Speaker/Author

by Cyrus Webb

“I choose to look for the good, the positive, the opportunities, the blessings, the lessons and the guidance in all situations. My perspective is more important than what’s happening. I choose to shift how I see things instead of allowing myself to be controlled by everything.” Sherontelle Dirskell

There are few women I have seen rise and thrive like Sherontelle Dirskell. She first came to my attention as a celebrity publicist, helping her clients achieve their goals and dreams. In 2019 she emerged as someone who also had goals and dreams to achieve, and she has been doing that as a motivational speaker, author and Influencer.

Sherontelle, it’s great to catch up with you again as Conversations Magazine celebrates its 14th year. You have been busy this year as well, even in spite of how things have been in the world. What has been keeping you inspired in spite of the challenges?
Congratulations & I’m so grateful to be a part of this anniversary issue. My biggest inspiration has been spending more time at home with family. I am so grateful for just waking up to see another day & also inspired by the mentors, life coaches, & motivational speakers who are giving positive motivation to others online during a time such as this.

What I love about the way you are using your platform is that you are showing men and women what they can achieve if they just persevere. What do you think has given you that determination to press forward?  
My mission in life is what keeps me moving forward. My mission is to inspire men, women, & children to live beyond their fears, pursue their dreams and step into their greatness. So with each & every day that passes I challenge myself in how I can not only make myself better but how I can assist on inspiring others to do the same.

Many people got to know you because of your work behind the scenes, working for your clients. Walk us through how you prepared yourself to step out front and share your story?
I  have an amazing mentor, Bernard Edwards, Jr, known as Focus. He is an amazing music producer who gave me some solid advice that I needed to step out and let people know who I am. I made a decision  to take his advice also also understanding this life journey I am on it’s not just about me,  it’s about my gift that I have to share with the people. I realize that if I didn’t come out I would be denying so many others who can benefit from my gift. Knowing these things has afforded me the opportunity to be on some major platforms and also to share my story speaking to audiences of all ages.  I have had to face my fears, stand behind what I do  and start connecting with people  all while staying humble and true to who I am. Hearing someone say to me I didn’t give up because I heard you tell your story, I knew I had did the right thing by stepping in front instead of hiding behind my clients.

Not only have you been sharing your own journey but you have partnered with some amazing people along the way. How important has your support system been for you during this new chapter?
My support system is very important because sometimes being an entrepreneur can be a lonely journey. Having a great support system gives me positive reinforcement, and definitely helps bring balance to my life.

As I mentioned the world is going through a lot right now, including with uncertainty. What has helped you to stay grounded and focused?
My mission in life, my love for my family and for people in the world, knowing that this is a part of my journey that I can’t control. I know in my heart that this will be over soon, and it’s just a moment in time to make me stronger. I am spending this time during this crisis as a  perfect time for creativity. I am leaning more into my faith and believing that we as a nation will survive this. These are the things that have kept me grounded and focused, because circumstances don't make a person. It reveals who that person truly is.

Success is one of those things that fascinates me, because it is definitely different for everyone. How has your own idea of success changed over the years?
When I was a little girl I used to look at people with material success as being successful. As an adult and as the years go by I define success simply as fulfilling my purpose of why I am here on this earth.

We both use social media to connect with others and share our messages. How has it helped you in your business?
It has helped me expand my business and connect with people all over the world through my online content. I have also been able to gain clients through social media.

Can you give us an idea of what you are looking forward to next?
I am looking forward to living beyond this quarantine life that we are in right now. Also I can say that I am ready to start working internationally to help be an asset to this world being a better place to live in. Nothing last always. We are all here on this earth for the benefit of each other. I am ready for change.

Appreciate the time, Sherontelle. How can our audience stay connected with you?
Thank you so much. I have a website www.SherontelleDirskell.com, Facebook.com/SherontelleDirskell, Twitter.com/SherontelleD, &  Instagram.com/SherontelleD.

TAKE TEN with Steven Manchester, author of THE MENU

by Cyrus Webb

For years I have been a fan of author Steven Manchester. Through fiction he is able to share not just some entertaining stories but some real-life lessons that the reader can take away from them. His newest, THE MENU, is so different. Though a tad different in subject matter the message is one that is typical Steven Manchester. We discuss his literary success and new book in this Take Ten. Enjoy!


• Steven, great to catch up with you again. Congratulations on the new book THE MENU. We’ll get more into it soon, but I want to begin with this writing journey for you. What has it been like for you to do what you love from book to book and see the response from readers?
It’s been a dream come true. It really has. From a young age, I wanted to be a writer. Twenty-five years ago, I  embarked on that journey and never looked back. Even during the failures, it’s been worth every second of my time and effort. The love I’ve received in return from my readers is the icing on the cake.

• You have definitely given us some great stories, but there are some themes that seem consistent: family, faith and forgiveness. Is this just a part of who you are, or do you find they just find themselves naturally into your work?
I would have to say both. I write reality-based fiction and, although it’s a bit cliché, we can only write about what we know, who we know, and where we’ve been. Family means everything to me. I believe that we’re all connected.  As long as I’m writing stories for my children, I figure I can never go wrong, and I would never waste their time with anything that doesn’t have meaning.

• With THE MENU the faith element is probably the strongest we have seen. How did the story come about?
When I first started, I knew I did not have the skill set to pull off a story of this scale and depth. The Menu is a story of hope and healing, of finding real peace. Originally, I wanted to write a story that had the potential to break my children’s fear of death. That naturally evolved into a spiritual work and, in my opinion, the best story I’ve ever written. None of us are ever alone, not ever, and The Menu was written to show that.

• Like some of your other characters Phinn is definitely flawed yet so relatable. What was it like to navigate the world through his eyes and experiences?
Phinn was an easy character for me to develop because he is so flawed. I don’t think people relate to characters that are perfect. The trick to pulling off a story like this is to make the characters as real and relatable as possible. By doing that, the reader is able to feel the character’s joys as well as his sorrows. And as soon as we move from thinking into feeling, we have a novel worth reading.

• One of the big messages in THE MENU is the importance of making the most of each and every day. How has that message served you well? 
As you know, I served in the first Gulf War. It was a brutal experience. But sometimes in the shadows, I think we’re able to see what’s truly important in life. Being an optimist and seeing the glass as half full has allowed me to live a joyous life, filled with hope and purpose. I’m trying to teach my children to approach each day the same way.

• I mentioned your readers earlier. What has that part of the experience been like to see how they have gotten the message of THE MENU?
I’ve always been blessed to receive some amazing feedback for my novels. The Menu has been at a whole different level. I am incredibly humbled by the kind words that people have sent me when providing feedback on this novel.  The story is clearly affecting most folks at a deeper level. Conversations about purpose and passion, faith and forgiveness, have all been a part of the book’s discussion. I honestly feel blessed that I was able to write the story, and I feel equally blessed that my readers have been willing to jump into the deep side of the pool with me.

• You and I haven’t met each other yet, Steven, but social media has kept us connected. How have you used that tool in your marketing as an author?
We haven’t met in person yet, though I do feel quite connected to you and your work. At first, I hated social media. There’s so much hate and divisiveness spread on these platforms—where courage is not required for people to express their biases. I’ve since learned that we can also use the platforms to unite and spread positive messages. Social media has been an effective tool for me to get the word out about my work. If it wasn’t for Facebook and Twitter, the kids I graduated from Kindergarten with would never know I’m a writer.

• 2020 has been a different kind of year for all of us. What has it been like adjusting to promote a book while dealing with a pandemic?
Writing time has been in surplus thanks to being quarantined. Promoting books, however, has been the opposite. Social media is fantastic for marketing, but it doesn’t come remotely close to meeting my readers face-to-face and discussing one of my books that they’ve just read. With The Menu, I intend to promote the story long after we’ve all been vaccinated for the Coronavirus. I’m remaining optimistic.

• You’ve been able to consistently deliver great work. You don’t stop. Unfortunately so many out there haven’t even started doing what they are passionate about. Any advice you want to share with our readers about the importance of going after their goals and dreams and not giving up?
The simplest advice I can give is this: For me, it’s all about the three P’s—Purpose, Passion, and Perseverance. I believe that the trick to success and joy is to first find your purpose. Once you do, pour all of your passion into it. Perseverance will take care of the rest.

• Always a pleasure, Steven. How can our readers stay connected with you and get their copy of the books?
The pleasure is mine, my friend. I can’t thank you enough for your continued support. I love to follow your successes and accomplishments, as well. I’m proud to count you amongst my friends.
The best place to get The Menu—in both print an e-book—is on Amazon.

Model/Actor Thai Edwards: Reaping the Reward From Doing the Work

by Cyrus Webb

There are few people I know who work as hard as Thai Edwards. He's a model, fitness expert and actor that has been able to make a name for himself doing work that he loves---and the world is taking notice. We first connected about 6 years ago. We both finished 2019 on a high note, with my celebrating now 16 years of hosting Conversations LIVE the radio show and him landing a role on the hit show SISTAS on BET and winning Actor of the Year at the Mayan Industry Awards. In this chat we discuss his career, the year that is 2019 and what it's been like to see all the hard work pay off.

You and I had a chance to sit down when we were in Los Angeles recently for an episode of Cyrus Webb Presents. It goes without saying you've had a very busy 2019. What has it been like for you to reflect on this year and all the great things that have happened for you?
You know what? It's funny you say that, because I've been in LA 12 years. I've just been working. Working with my head down. I really can't stop to appreciate all the things that have been happening. It was just recently when I took a step back and was like, 'Wait a minute. You really are doing this thing, and you're doing it in a really big way.' So, it's been a journey, man. It's been a journey. I'm blessed.

You definitely have been blessed, and you are an example for a lot of different reasons. One, I think the resilience that you've been able to have. The consistency is definitely important. But I think what I found out, and you and I had talked about already before, is that you have not always had an easy. You've gone through your challenges. You've gone through your dark spots. I guess an obvious question would be for people out there that are just now getting to know more about your story is what do you think kept you from giving up? 
It's the fear of failure that has been something that always frightened me. When you've been told that you weren't going to be anything or you know, everybody always counting you out, the thing that resonated with me the most is proving them wrong. Even in my darkest hour I've overcome so much in my life. How could I give up now? So I just keep pushing and that's pretty much what it is, man. I'm not comfortable with just being okay. I wanted to be better than okay, I deserve a good life. In spite of all that I've gone through and conquered. Now that I've met the finish line I might as well cross it. That's my mindset.

And I think along the way you've been able to build this amazing tribe around yourself. Of course people online have gotten to know you, and a big part of what you've been able to do is to inspire and motivate. How important is that for you to be able to be yourself, to have fun, but also to let people know what they can do with their lives, too?
Man, at the end of the day it's about touching people and impacting people. I mean, although I love what I do: making movies, being on television. Above all I love being able to influence someone or make somebody else's day. Everybody is going through something, and you just never know what someone may need from you. The thing that I appreciate most and what I've been concentrating most on as far as my brand is getting a foothold in this industry. At the end of the day you have to be yourself, and no one is one way all the time.

Part of the double edge sword that you'd been a part of is social media, Thai. That's how you and I have stayed connected. That's how this conversation actually happened. You talk about the importance of keeping it real. What do you think has kept you grounded along the way?
I just don't know how to be anything other than authentic. I'm from Chicago, the south side of town. That's just the hood. I just can't find myself being anything other than me. If people don't like you for who you are, those are the people that aren't supposed to be in your life. I think also the older I get, the more I don't care about fitting in. I mean I've always stood out, but even more so the older you get you really just start developing and knowing who you are as an individual. And you don't need a lot of approval.

I thank God that I had a hard life, because I'm able to connect with so many people who find it hard, those trying to get through whatever they're going through. I don't look like none of the things that I told you about me. I'm okay, and if I can do it, you can do it too. So that's pretty much how I go about doing things, man. That's my goal. If I can touch somebody, if I can make someone smile, if I can make someone feel a certain way, I've done my job. That's a wonderful feeling to me.

Another big highlight for you this year was sharing the screen with Shamar Moore on the show S.W.A.T.  He did a great video on March 7th on your Instagram. You've done a lot of projects before S.W.A.T., but what was that experience like for you?
It's beyond words. There are still some people who see what I'm doing and don't understand. When I was there with Shamar it became real to them. For me to be there with him it was proof of what I am doing. He gave me a bunch of support. We had a really good time. I would love to do it again if they bring my character back. If they do it's going to be trouble. (smile)

When people do recognize you, when people do see you and recognize what you bring to the table, is that a form of validation of the path that you've on?
Absolutely. I don't ever do this for the notoriety or to get credit. I do it because I love acting. I love the job. I love being outside of my normal self, but when I get recognized for it, yeah,it feels good.

An obvious question would be with the buzz that you're getting this year, with all the great things happening with you, what does success look like for you now?
Man, you know what? I am so open. I am so open to whatever God has for me. I hope to do more acting and modeling. I really do want to start switching my gears on doing a whole lot more public speaking. I will be working on my book, on my life story. It's just so many things that I want to do. Everything I'm doing is all for people. It's for the community. I just want to be able to completely use my platform to go into whatever endeavor possible.

Stay connected with Thai on Instagram at www.instagram.com/officialthaiedwards.

STEDMAN GRAHAM: Building A Brand (and Leaders) One Person at a Time (2019)

by Cyrus Webb

Being able to enjoy a conversation with Stedman Graham was truly a full circle moment for me, I first read a book by our him in my very first year of radio back in 2003. It was Build Your Own Life Brand, and since that time Mr. Graham has been someone that I have been able to follow as he has been able to write, not only about leadership but the importance of identity. 

In 2019 he is celebrating another bestseller IDENTITY LEADERSHIP, and once again it takes us not just into how we are able to affect others but how everything starts with understanding and knowing ourselves. In this INSPIRATION issue of Conversations I talk with him about the journey to doing work he loves, what keeps him inspired and what it’s like to affect the lives of others.

What has it been like for you, Mr. Graham, to see people grasping on to the lessons you have shared about Identity, and the importance of knowing who they are as they are kind of moving forward in their business and their life?

It’s been humbling to see the response and for people to get it. It's important to me, because I want people to raise their social, economic development. I want them to take control of their own destiny. I want them to focus on empowering themselves and their families, and I want them to understand that there is a process of success for doing that. Just going to school and trying to get a degree and coming out and looking for a job today is different.

So today the people are asking you to be more engaged and asking you to focus on skills. They are asking you to know your talents, your abilities, and we live in a global marketplace now with technology so we have a chance to be able to learn how to take information and education and make it relevant to expand our social, economic development. If we take charge of our own selves then the identity leadership is self-leadership. It's based on the philosophy that you cannot lead anybody else until you first lead yourself.

In Chapter 3 of the book IDENTITY LEADERSHIP you talk about leaders and you give your own personal experience there about how you were an individual who allowed other people to define who you were and how confusing that was. You also talk about the importance of realizing what you had to do for yourself. One point you make is when we buy into labels we allow ourselves to be placed in a box. How important was it for you to get out of that box so that you could be able to show other people what's possible?

Well I never tried to give my power away. I didn't know how to do it any other way. I didn't know how to overcome the labels: the racial labels, the family labels… growing up and having a fight every day in school and people calling you names. Those labels. 

When it came to racial labels, I did not understand people focusing on the color of your skin. I couldn't deal with that, and you have the race-based consciousness. I didn't realize it's about not knowing who you are. It's not about your race or the color of your skin or your gender. The world defines you when you can't define yourself, and of course my relationship with Oprah throughout the years I have been define by that.

And so you lose your name, you lose your identity. That process was a fantastic lesson for me to learn through, because the closest thing to Freedom is being able to focus on the internal and not on the external. That’s why I do this work, to help people through the process. 

The book you talked about Build Your Own Life Brand is all about you can make it happen if you are willing to do the work on yourself. I do all of this work and now talking about Identity Leadership—which is the ultimate self-leadership--it's all about leadership and the ability to be able to show people how to get beyond the labels, how to take charge of their home development and how to take the resources of the world and make it relevant to who they are every day. Everyone is equal because everybody has 24 hours, but the question is what do you do with your time, what are you doing with your 24 hours?

Another great thing you do in IDENTITY LEADERSHIP is give us real examples of individuals we can learn from. As I mentioned you share your own experiences but also individuals like Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and others. One thing they all have in common is not giving up or allowing fear of failure to stop them. Do you think that is also part of being an effective leader and force in the world?

Identity Leaders don't worry too much about failure, because if you focused on your purpose in life, if you are focused on your passion giving up is not an option. If you are focusing on what motivates you and what gets you up in the morning and what you are willing to give your life for, you will keep going. Like me this work motivates me. I am willing to give my life for this work.

So the ability to be able to overcome the obstacle and deal with failure is not as difficult, because you want to learn. And when you realize that failure is a learning process and what will get you to the next level is not repeating the same mistake over and over, then you are very careful about preparation. Success is when preparation meets the opportunity. It's all preparation. 

So it’s about your ability to be able to prepare yourself with knowledge, with information, with education, with what you have learned, with your experiences, with other experts and your resources in the world. And now through technology we have a different way to be able to organize that information. So if you reverse the process of making that information relevant to our purpose and what we love and what we care about, and take the 24 hours that we have every single day, then we can begin to organize our life around ourselves.

It's a self-actualization process around you and making sure that you understand that everything should be centered around you, so the more you have the more you can give back.

And to tie that in also, Mr. Graham, and to Mr. Bezos as well, another thing that you mentioned about him was about the use of time. Optimizing time. Have you found as you've been out talking about this work and talking about identity and identity leadership that this is one of the biggest things that we find ourselves working on: things that are draining us of our time and not using our time wisely?

All of your leaders, you have Bezos, Oprah and others…all of these folks they focus on saving time, making sure they can eliminate things that are not relevant to their development so they can stay focused. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, so the question is how do you now focus?

What are you actually working on that's going to be actionable that's going to take you to the next level based on your vision? Do you have a plan to be able to write things down so you can set goals so you can actually get things done? Then can you build a new value for yourself? Not the value the world gives you. Start working so that the world sees you as you see yourself.

You also said this in the book Mr Graham another powerful thing when you are talking about defining factors of identity leaders, you say they know where they want to be. I think that direction is so important because you go on to say, and you know how they are going to get there. Do you also hope the book helps others to figure out the direction that they need to go to get to where they want to be?

Let's talk about where most people are. I mean 6.9 billion people soon to be 7 billion people or maybe more in the world right now. Most wake up in the morning, wash their face and they brush their teeth. They get something to eat and they get the kids off to school, they work all day and they come home in the afternoon and they spend time with the family and watch TV and they go to bed. And then they repeat that same process over and over and over. It's kind of a routine. For them there is no thinking, no developing, no building, no self-actualizing and no taking information and making it relevant to a self-direct or learning process.

We have to break out of that rut, out of that mindset. You are here. Where do you want to go? If the response is ‘I don't know where I want to go, I don't know who I want to become, I don't know what's possible for me’ it’s because we haven't created a vision beyond ourselves, and we haven't started with purpose and passion in what we love. There is no Focus around building anything, shaping anything, creating anything or designing anything, because we have no process to move forward.

So we have to begin to organize who can we become. What does that picture of the puzzle looks like 10 years from now? Where are you going to be 20 years from now? We can create that because we have a mind. We live in the greatest country in the world. We've got to turn around where everything is relevant to us so we can actually build something.

That's a beautiful thing if you can work on it. That's like a blessing being able to work on your purpose and to organize information around your purpose, and then everything you read, everything you learn, everything that you pick up you can pull out information that's relevant to empowering your life every single day. If you can get to a place where this happens you develop a process of continuous improvement so you are better today than you were yesterday.

Get IDENTITY LEADERSHIP on Amazon. Stay connected with Stedman Graham at www.stedmangraham.com.