Dr. Jeanelle Lanham: Showing Young People How To Live With S.W.A.G.

by Cyrus Webb for Conversations Magazine

If there was an individual who understood the tough times that today's teens are dealing with it is Dr. Jeanelle Marshawn Lanham. The Marion, Indiana native has had to contend with her own feelings of insecurities as well as those heaped upon her by those around her. It was only with time and the belief in herself and her ability to make a difference that she was able to keep those naysayers from destroying her dreams altogether.

Today she is using her resources and her own personal journey to help young people, and young boys in particular, to realize their own potential and give them the motivation they need to keep going when others tell them they should just give up. Now living in North Glendale, AZ, Dr. Lanham is living proof that hard work does pay off and she wants to show others how they can live their lives with "S.W.A.G."

Here is our conversation.

Jeanelle, thank you for taking out the time to speak with us. You have committed your life to working in bringing out the best in young people. We'll talk about your current projects in a moment. Why don't we begin, though, by talking about your own evolution in life. When you were growing up what were some of the challenges you faced and had to deal with?

Growing up for me, was very interesting because although I had good times physically I was traumatized mentally. I was bullied my whole life by family, friends, enemies which eventually grew into my own thoughts. They didn't hit me to hurt me but they did use their words to make me feel horrible but they would say it was "ok" because they were "just playing"!

When I was 7 years old a cousin of mine told me that "everything bad that happens around me was my fault" because I told her this guy was going to fall off his skies, and he did. At the time I believed her and struggled with it for all of my early years. My family teased me for being the skinniest by saying that I was adopted and my mom would say my kisses taste like dead birds. Friends would say I was ugly, boyfriends would compare me to other girls. I felt so bad i wanted everyone to like me and it seemed like no one ever did. I had dreams of success and my friends (even NOW) always tell me I dream too big and that I'll "never" be "that"! It was all mental abuse I had no idea how to combat until my mid 20's when I started attending WCCI then World Changers Church in Atlanta Ga, Pastor Creflo Dollar. He taught me How to Trouble My Troubles and I knew I needed to share it with teenagers; they Should Not Have to WAIT until they were adults to learn that important information. It's my duty to share this knowledge with them and I know how to in a way that rocks their world & SWAG appears! 

Some have a hard time coping with adverse situations. Was it difficult for you to come to terms with the hand you were dealt in life?

It was at first because I felt it unfair that people treated me so mean when all I ever tried to do was try to please others and make them feel good about themselves. One day I had an epiphany and decided i didnt like feeling this way and I wasnt going to use my past as an excuse not to succeed, so i started renewing my mind!

What motivated you to move on and forward in spite of your difficulties?

The dreams that kept coming up in my head. I would always day dream and see myself more than what I was at the time and more than what others said I would become.

Jeanelle, it's one thing to find a way to cope with your own woes in life. It's a totally different thing to want to help others as well. When did you realize that what you had been through put you in a unique position to be of assistance to others?

I realized i was in a uniques position to assist others when I heard others speak of the same feelings they had as a teenager that I felt and needed a solution, a solution I have.  I really realized I had an opportunity and "talent" to help Teen when I had kids and saw Them go through the common Teen Challenges. I now had the chance to use Programs I had created to have proof to be an affective way to get positive results! Once I saw the transformation in my boys I knew that I had to share my Programs with every teen and parent i meet.

You said to me in a conversation recently that having sons have influenced your decision to want to work with boys. Can you share why with our readers?

Did you know 4 out of 5 boys 13 - 19 says "When their mom compliments them they feel more confident in what they do"! When a Mother tells her son(s) how special they are and that they have worth their behaviors improve and treat others, especially the opposite sex, with respect. And after having my boys I realized it was true. I also found it a challenge finding things for them, whether it was buying clothing, finding places specifically for boys to hang out, to finding anyone that gave them sympathy or empathy when in trouble; it was nothing like the opportunities and options available for girls. When my youngest son had challenges at school (because he had ADHD) it was handled differently because he's a boy; most teachers, especially, looked at boys as a nuisance and was less likely to encourage them but would rather yell, confess something negative over them and then shun them. I noticed that when ever a boy made a mistake that mistake would exemplified compared to if the mistake be made by a girl. Human nature, unfortunately, sees boys as destructive, emotionless, and even heartless at times and that's not the case they have feelings too! I knew boys needed an advocate; they deserve to get the same positive attention, events, mentoring as girls do and it became my passion  i realized that when I or another female complemented boys they felt much more confident than when a male complimented them and I decided to use that for their good!

What are some of the projects you already have in place to help and encourage young people?

I have a Teen Book Ive written "Teens Learn to Trouble Your Troubles" available on my website, Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. The book gives teens tool to overcome bullying, depression, avoid teen pregnancy, respect authority and more. I started a 501(c)(3) Nonprofit Teen Cafe - "Hodge Podge the Teen Cafe™" currently online soon to be in a physical building. Our website offers group counseling and one on one. We have Q&A on Twitter every week to stay interactive. We help teens overcome the challenges they face that are "real" to them. This is our "S.W.A.G Camp™" - this is a program that will be available next summer. Its a 8 week Teen Program created to show teenagers the special qualities/talents within them ultimately encouraging them to walk with S.W.A.G (Strength Wisdom Assurance Greatness). We are starting a Teen Radio Station giving our teens a chance to express themselves musically as I know the importance of the Arts. Our unique activities cater to each gender as well as interest because we know that each needs the same encouragement, just in different ways.

Jeanelle you have made yourself available to do public speaking, not just for the youth but adults as well. Was that an easy decision for you to make, and what's been the response to some of the things you have shared?

It was easy because I understand that it was important to encourage the parents too. They also need assistance raising teenagers because it's not the easiest but it can be less stressful. In the end I want successful families that will continue to pass down to their kids what they've learned from myself and our Programs. My goal is to help everyone involved in the lives of teenagers! The response has been great, sometimes my honesty can leave a little sting but once it's gone their minds are changed and renewed and they appreciate it.

You know as well as I do that the internet has been a major factor in the lives of young people today. How are you using it and social networking sites to reach your target audience?

Yes the Internet has been a major factor in the lives of our teenagers like the computer was to our generation. Unfortunately, the Internet has been tainted and gotten a bad reputation due to cyber bullies and inappropriate material on the Internet but it has its good side too. Since I know teens text, surf the net are active on such sites as Twitter & FaceBook I use these and my Blogs to make being online a positive experience. I post uplifting quotes, I even answer questions to some who live in other countries, I give solutions instead of answers. BUT MOST OF ALL IM VERY REAL AND HONEST TO TEENS. I use the Internet as a tool to let teens and parents know they are not alone.

The summer is upon us, and it is during this time that our young people will definitely be tested. Many may feel as though they are going through situations alone. What would you say to them, and what can all of us do to help the younger generations in our own community.

Yes the Summer, a time parents worry most about keeping teens busy entertained and out of trouble. Until I am able to open a Hodge Podge in every state I suggest they come to my sites to find helpful tips on what to envolve their teens in. Ask local churches or schools to have camps longer than a week; give them more to do, things they like to do. Involve them in the planning process; their minds because their brains are growing, and it needs to be exercised like a muscle in order to grow to great capacities. if we occupy their minds with positive things they wont think and eventually do the negative things. 

Thank you for all you are doing, Jeanelle. Continued success to you. How can our readers find out more information about you and your services?

Thank you for having me. And for your readers, they can contact me at www.TheSWAGDoc.com  or www.HdgPdg.com  or 480.389.3894 for inquiries about Speaking Engagements, Counseling (group or individual) and our Teen Programs. 

AGELESS JOURNEY by Helene Weinberger

(May/June Conversations Magazine)

What really matters on my "aged" birthday? For one magical moment I share time with my great-granddaughter, 19 months old, who scrawled a "frog" to greet me - a special memento! And our weekly breakfast, always the same, but the ultimate expression of time fully shared and enjoyed!

And the remarkable cards from people who always reach deeply into my soul, like Maya Angelou's words, "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song!" For this one moment I am that bird and that song!

Or my "adopted" son's comment: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain. ." This is the year that I shall perform that ritual dance! Or from my very intellectual cousins who have an exciting life of concerts, theatres, and books - who wrote: "It's not age or appearance or lifestyle that makes a person young. It has a lot to do with attitude
and openness to life and reaching out beyond yourself. It's something that many people never figure out, but, lucky you...it's what you're all about."

It matters not that I'm a year older, and a trifle more slow in my responses! Or that my limbs will not always behave as I wish them to?

Not at all! Life moves on; we change and grow with the years, or we decay and refuse to more forward!

In essence, we are all one, doing the best we can with what has been apportioned to us; it is our challenge each day to create our own sunshine and warmth, to share with those who live in our own small firmament!

Helene Weinberger is a 87-year old World War II veteran that devotes a great deal of her time to volunteering. You can contact her at hmwtcb@gmail.com.

(Tues. June 28, 2011) MS Welcomes NYT Bestselling author Wahida Clark

Conversations Book Club is excited to announce that New York Times Bestselling author & the first lady of Cash Money Content Wahida Clark will be visiting the state of Mississippi for the first time on Tues. June 28, 2011. This is in association with the author's JUSTIFY MY THUG tour and is a one day only event!

Conversations Book Club President Cyrus Webb has coordinated the schedule for Ms. Clark and welcomes all readers from books clubs and reading groups from across the state and beyond to support this historic visit.

"This is something the state of Mississippi will not soon forget," says Webb. Since Nov. 2006 he has coordinated over 90 author events in TX, AL, TN, LA, GA and the Magnolia State, including the only book tours for recording artists and authors Corey "C-Murder" Miller and Jacki-O. "We are excited to be working with Ms. Clark and Cash Money Content/Simon and Schuster in making this visit possible."

Below is the public schedule:

--- 9:30-11am., "Breakfast with Books" (Subway Restaurant * 112 Service Dr. *
Brandon, MS )
--- 1-3p.m., Meet & Greet/Signing (Medgar Evers Library * 4215 Medgars Evers Blvd *
Jackson, MS)
--- 5-7p.m., Booksigning (Borders Bookstore * 100 Dogwood
Blvd * Flowood, MS 39232

The host bookstore for Ms. Clark's visit is BORDERS BOOKSTORE (100 Dogwood Blvd * Flowood, MS 39232).

For questions about any of the events, contact Cyrus Webb at cawebb4@juno.com or 601.896.5616. You can also visit www.thebestbookclub.info  or www.wclarkpublishing.com .

JOIN THE ADDICTION: Get hooked on books!

SPOTLIGHT: Celebrity Photographer Anthony Tilghman

by Cyrus Webb for Conversations Magazine

Anyone who has ever thought you can't have your cake and eat it too obviously hasn't met Anthony Tilghman. He has been able to take his passion for all things unique and beautiful and harness it into a business that has ripples from his base in Washington D. C. around the world.

Whether he is photographing another influential client or noteworthy event or assisting in brand development and marketing, Tilghman seems to be able to do it all and do it well.

I had the opportunity to interview him for the radio program Conversations LIVE, and it was obvious that the reason he has found success in his life is because he has learned how to get out of his own way. In this interview with Conversations Magazine he talks about that journey, what pushes him and what he has to say to those who wish to follow in his footsteps.

Here is our conversation...
 

Anthony, I think once people take a look at your website and view your work, one word that has to come to mind is passion. You definitely love what you do. When did you develop that passion?
I think I developed this passion a long time ago when I wanted to be different and stand out from the rest. My major focus is helping others excel in what they do cause I don't want to be known for just take photos or marketing. I think it goes beyond that, and show others that you can set out to do what you wanna do if you work hard and be patient for the results.

I know from an interview with you for Conversations LIVE that photography is something you have only been doing for a few years, but you couldn't really tell by the success you have had. Tell our readers how this chapter of your life began. 
Well photography starting about 2 1/2 years ago when I use to work with alot of photographers and they didn't really see what I was looking for in the imagery. So I decided that I had to take myself to the next level and start doing photography myself. I have worked with alot of great photographers so i know the move was going to be hard, but I was determined to make it happen, learn the ropes and set out to be a great.

Branding is important for anyone who is serious about their career path, but attaching yourself to successful brands is also a plus. How much do you think having recognizable names acknowledge your work has benefited you?
Well of course having a recognizable name helps your brand, but also having the determination to work at developing yourself can help also because alot of great people didn't always have that fame and they started out just like everyone else to become that brand they are now. I would just say u have to be focused and work at establish yourself and it will work out.

You have gone beyond photography. Tell us about some of your recent ventures you've been involved in.
I want to be known as a brand, so I took the things I love which are fashion, beauty and marketing. I started my woman's clothing line Elegance Collection which is something I always wanted to do. I love seeing beautiful women looking nice yet elegant about their appearance. I added photography and marketing to my portfolio, because I want to help others become the best and use marketing and social media to establish their brand and accessibility beyond the local perimeter.

Looking back on everything you've done, what have been some of the highlights for you?
U know what's funny: I think my biggest highlights of everything I've done is the learning experience, because I remember sitting and thinking of my next move everyday and just making it happen. I have done alot in the past 2 years and so, but the most rewarding part of everything I do is looking back and realizing it happened and I am proud of the results.

We all have our highs and lows from day to day, whether we love what we do or not. Like it or not, we are going to have bad days. How do you stay motivated?
Well the best way I try to stay focused is to just keep thinking of different ways to be creative and market myself and my brand and know that its takes effort and hard work to be successful. I have already been at rock bottom before so I am not planning on going back.

Is there anyone you want to work with that you haven't had a chance yet?
My dream is to work with Halle Berry because she stays elegant, and I love the way she presents herself. I would love to work with her to create a image of what she represents which is beauty yet elegance in her day to day appearance.

Anthony, there will be some who are reading this that are not doing what they want to do or have a passion for. What would you tell them in regards to whatever their passion might be?
Well I believe that everyone has a talent, and I have a saying that I often say on twitter which is "You can meet alot of talented people but the most talented person you meet everyday is Yourself.."

Thanks for your time, Anthony. How can our readers stay up on everything you are doing?
Well you can always catch up with me on Twitter (@anthonytilghman) and also visit my website everyday at www.anthonytilghman.com and check out my work and also read my blog.

PROFILE: Author Russell Brooks

Russell, thanks for talking with Conversations Magazine. I think it would be good for us to begin by talking about your novel PANDORA'S SUCCESSION. How did the idea come about?
Thanks for inviting me for an interview, Cyrus. The idea for Pandora’s Succession came after the events surrounding the Tokyo Subway Sarin Gas Attacks in 1995. When I learned that a cult was behind the terrorist attacks, I was amazed at how a single cult leader could be so powerful as to brainwash so many people into following him and committing such horrific acts. Even more shockingly in 2001 was the Anthrax-mail attacks, perpetrated by military scientist, Bruce Ivins. The stories were so incredible that they appeared, in my mind, to come straight out of a thriller novel. I spun my own twist on both of those events and came up with Pandora’s Succession.

Are your family and those who grew up around you surprised that you have a book published?
My family knew that from the time that I was 12 years old, I was drafting a novel. So I don’t think that they were surprised because they knew me as a person with goals. I’m like a bulldog, once I sink my teeth in, I won’t let go.

What about yourself? When did you realize that this was a dream that you wanted to see realized?
Storytelling has always been an interest to me since I was in elementary school. When I didn’t read one in front of the class, I’d write my own for fun to share with my classmates. In grade six, my French teacher, Ms Bédard, spotted me with something that I wrote on paper (yes, written, because I didn’t have a PC nor a dot-matrix printer back then)—stapled together to look like a book. She took it and read it to the class with great enthusiasm. She then led the class into applause and encouraged me to keep writing, telling me that she looked forward to the day that one of my books would be published. That’s when I decided to keep writing whatever was in my imagination. I’m glad that I didn’t stop.

Going back to PANDORA'S SUCCESSION what do you hope readers take away from it?
I just want readers to be on the edge of their seats and have so much fun reading the story that they’ll tell their friends and family about it. There aren’t any hidden messages of any sort for anyone to discern.

What should our readers be reading next from you?
I have a short story suspense trilogy called Unsavory Delicacies that is now available through Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and Smashwords.com as an eBook. I’m also putting the finishing touches on a mystery/suspense novel, my second after Pandora’s Succession. Expect it to be available by December 2011. The best way to keep up to date with what I’m doing—from new releases to any special events that I’ll be taking part in—would be to join my mailing list at www.russellparkway.com or join the Russell Brooks Fans page on Facebook.

Thanks again for your time, Russell, and congratulations on what you have accomplished. How can our readers take in contact with you?
Your welcome. I hope to do this again soon.

Josh Hadar: Creating Beauty, Awareness One Piece At A Time

"Artists have a responsibility to not only create visually pleasing installations but also a social need to be leaders in the environmental movement and I hope that my work will not only excite the art community but also inspire change."
--Josh Hadar

Josh Hadar is the Founder and Owner of Hadar Metal Design , an eco-conscious design group that creates one-of-a-kind custom bikes and environmental installations. Josh began Hadar Metal Design after a storied career as a proprietor in the nightlife and theater worlds. Through ownership of those venues, Josh's love and appreciation for design grew to new heights and Hadar began pursuing a passion for metal sculpture.

His early work with reclaimed building materials and broken bicycles from the streets of New York developed into an exploration of the relationship between biological and technological forms. Hadar was drawn to the art of metal sculpting by its structural fluidity and lack of strict aesthetic rules, which encouraged the self-taught artist to learn the particulars of metal design in order to create original installations. Eventually, Hadar learned so much through experimentation that he began making hybrid bikes, for which he envisioned glass, rather than metal, gas tanks. To realize his vision, Josh spent a few weeks training and eventually learned how to blow glass.

Hand blown glass gas tanks are not the only element of Hadar's design installations that are infused with meticulous attention to detail. He also shapes metal without any heat or electric equipment (often around lamp posts, trash cans or trees), the leather is hand stitched and each step involved in the creation process is intended to reduce energy emissions.
Today, the team at Hadar Metal Design is working to develop new sculptural art installations that bring evolving environmental technologies to the forefront of the art world. The shop is fully equipped with solar power and is exploring new applications of alternative drive systems and power sources for their bikes and tricycles. The results of this work has earned an enthusiastic and diverse global audience of fine artists, craftspeople, environmental scientists, engineers, technicians and social activists who bring their knowledge and energy to the development of new projects. Josh Hadar and Hadar Metal Design will continue to create intelligent, visually stimulating, functioning works of art that will remain eco-conscious and culturally admired as he persists within the design industry.
 
For more information and to view Josh's work please visit: http://hadarmetaldesign.com/

Choosing Life Over Death: "The Karli Butler Story"

by Cyrus Webb (May/June Conversations Magazine)

It has been six years to the month since the incident that changed Chicago native Karli Butler's life forever. It was at that time that she was drenched with acid and expected to die a painful death. The person that survived that vicious attack and that exists today is a woman who understand the importance of life and how none of us can afford to take even one day for granted.

When her story was brought to my attention, I couldn't help but think about the challenges in our lives that sometimes want to make us just give up. Karli Butler's experiences will cause you to rethink all of what you think you know about life and what really matters. We had a chance to talk about the life-changing experience, remolding her way of thinking and living afterwards and how she now looks at each day.

This is The Karli Butler Story. Here is our conversation.

Karli, thank you for sharing your story with us. Take us into the incident that reshaped your life.

In 2006, I was brutally attacked twice. The first attack on March 15, 2006, began with a violent beating that escalated to kindapping by three male attacker. It occurred in the enclosed parking garage of my condo building and thankfully, I was able to escape from tge trunk of my car while it was in motion. During the second attack on May 25, 2006, I was held at gunpoint by two women and doused with acid. Consequently, I was severely scarred physically and emotionally. I spent six and a half weeks in the Intensive Care Burn Unit and endured over a dozen surgeries. As I'm sure you can imagine, I was totally confused as to why I was attacked. It turns out that I was attacked because of my boyfriend at the time. I was informed by the police that he was allegedly involved in some illegal street activity and they concluded that instead of the people he'd upset retaliating against him, they retaliated against me. I was guilty by association.

When you look at what has happened to you in the past, what keeps you motivated today?

 I've finally accepted the fact that bad things happen to good people every day and I just happened to be one of them. What mattered most when I was attacked was not what happened to me, but how I handled it. Knowing that I have the power to make positive changes in my own life is something that motivates me on a daily basis. Once you've come close to death you realize you only get one life and you've got to either fall to pieces or make the best of it.

You said in an interview with Goddess Magazine that "It's not what happens to you; it's how you handle it.  You can turn that negative into a positive." That is not an easy revelation to come through, especially when you have gone through something as devasting and traumatic as you. How did you get to that point?

It definitely wasn't easy. I had some really dark days that I hope to never experience again. After finally going home from the burn unit, I was angry with the world. I was angry that I was scarred, I was angry that I was in pain, I was angry that my life had changed dramatically, but I was most angered by the fact that everyone else got to move on with their lives except me. That anger and resentment only dragged me down. After watching the news and hearing about other stories of people who weren't as fortunate as me to make it through, I realized that I was being ungrateful. That anger and hatred wasn't doing anything positive for me. It was kind of like an "aha" moment and it was then that I decided that I didn't want to live like that anymore.

One of the things you have done as part of your emotional and maybe even spiritual healing is to share your story with others. Why has that been important to you.

When I first started sharing my story with others, I got a really strong reaction like, "Wow! Really?" It was almost as if my listeners were hearing the story of a hero--someone I did not identify with. I had no idea that I'd done anything special. I'm able to laugh about it now, but I jumped out of the trunk of a moving car because I wanted to live. Wouldn't anyone do that to save their own life? I still have trouble thinking that I've done anything special. Today, I've become more accepting of the power of my story. I get so much positive feedback from my audience that it reminds me that I've done the right thing by sharing my story with others. When I first started speaking I had no idea that something as small as telling my story would be both emotionally healing and empowering for ME, as well as postively impact others. It's transformed my life in ways I'd never imagined and I'm so thankful. As a survivor of violence, I feel empowered to have a voice. I can tell MY story on MY terms and no one can take that away from me. I think that's important for anyone who's been victimized.

For our readers we are looking at 2011 as a year of new beginnings, a time to reset our lives and the things under our control. With that in mind, do you feel as though each day is a new beginning for you in a sense?

Absolutely! Every day we have the opportunity to grow and change. It's never too late. Just imagine if you did not have tomorrow. What regrets would you have then?

Alot of our readers are dealing with their own personal demons, those seen and unseen. What advice would you have for them when it comes to how they treat each day that they have been given?

I try my hardest to be my best self everyday, but it doesn't always happen. No one's perfect, so forgive yourself if you forget or get consumed by the daily grind. What's most important is that you value you your time here and make the most of it according to your standards. I think we'd all be remiss to believe that we're the only one with issues. Everyone has issues of some sort. After coming so close to death, I really appreciate my life so much more now. I'd strongly advise everyone to remember that you don't know when it's your time to go, so appreciate every second because it could be gone just as quickly.

Thank you again, Karli for sharing your story. How can our readers find out more information about you and how they can get in touch with you?

Thank you for allowing me to share with you. You asked some very insightful questions, so thank you for pushing me. Readers can follow me on Twitter @KarliSpeaks or join my Facebook Group called "Acid Attack Survivors." I'm also a motivational speaker, so please consider booking me for your next event. I speak about everything from dating violence to forgiveness to self-esteem. My publicist, Briahna Gatlin, can be reached at 312-480-8700. Thanks again!