Donna Goldstein: Teaching Others How To Take Shape For Life

by Cyrus Webb

Donna Goldstein and I were introduced to each other in late 2011, and the work she has done both in her own life and that of others is really something to be applauded. During our conversation on the radio show I asked her what it was like to know the impact she has had in the lives of so many. She told me it was a real blessing, but her own journey was one that did not begin easily.

Donna had been overweight for over 30 years, but after a series of injuries she was told that if she didn't lose 50 pounds she would never walk well again. This was a real wake-up call for her, and she went about looking for a way to make the changes that she needed to in order to be her best self.

It was during this time that she was introduced to the program Take Shape For Life. Donna learned not only how to eat but how to make a decision to make not just a health change but a life change as well.


Thanks to the program she has gone from a size 16 to a size 6, and has kept the weight off for over four years! The transformation led others to asking what she had done, and this was the beginning of her coaching experience. Donna told me that her personal clients have lost over 5k pounds over the past few years. One of her proudest achievements has been giving people their life back, allowing them to be the person they have always dreamed about becoming

If you were looking for motivation as to how you could begin to take control of your life, I think what Donna has been able to achieve should not only inspire you but propel you forward to begin making the necessary changes now. Find out more about Donna and the great work she is doing by visiting http://drdonna.tsfl.com/

Donna Martini: Sharing The 10 Commandments of Divorce

by Cyrus Webb

As you know from reading Conversations Magazine or listening to me on the radio I have never been married. But I think you don't have to have entered the union in order to realize that sometimes it works and unfortunately sometimes it doesn't. For those who are experiencing the latter, however, it doesn't have to be the end of the friendship just because the marriage is over.

A great example of this can be found in how Donna Martini handled her own divorce. She was looking for a way to share her experiences with the masses and the result was her first book THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DIVORCE. Using what she calls positive manipulation she was able to look past her own pain in order to find the good with her ex-husband so that they could do what was best for the children. What I got from Donna's book is that we all have the power to control how we react to the circumstances we are in.

Donna told me in her interview on Conversations LIVE in 2011 that she found a way to manipulate her thoughts and to create a positive energy that helps others as well. This has led to a much better environment for her and assisted her in getting the most out of her life. How was this really possible? Well, Donna made a conscious decision to look for the good. When you do that, she told me, the way you look at the person changes.



Donna says that she hopes we realize that we are responsible for the way we live our lives and handle the situations we are confronted with. Don't take blame or feel at fault. Instead take responsibility so that we can have control. We can manipulate ourselves to be the best all of us can be.

Find out more about Donna and the 10 Commandments of Divorce at www.donnamartini.com.

Kip Kreiling: Learning To Move Forward, Leaving THE IMPOSTER Behind

by Cyrus Webb

Don't think it is possible for certain people to change? Then let me introduce you to Kip Kreiling. If you had met him growing up you would have probably believed that as the case. In my interview with him on Conversations LIVE in 2010 he told me that although he was not trying to earn the worst childhood award, his was quite painful. Picture it: he was arrested three times before he was 10, 11 times before he was 14. He was also a person who because of the world he found himself in got involved with drugs quite early as well. That is not the person he is today.

The Kip Kreiling that you meet today is a successful executive who has earned the respect of his peers and has even founded his own non-profit foundation called Transformation Help (see www.transformationhelp.org). He is helping others to take their lives into their own hands and realize their own value.

Like others who have gone through a dramatic shift in their lives, Kip didn't share his background for quite some time. In fact it wasn't until his book THE IMPOSTER? was released that he began talking openly about his past. Doing so has not only been inspiring for others but liberating for him as well. In his book Kip writes this: "I believe that our mind is the mechanism that determines what we do and who we are. By changing our mind, we can change who we are. (p. 220)"

When asked what he hopes readers take away from the book and his story, Kip says this: "I want people to know that they can completely change." He went on to say that things might seem impossible until you do it. That is such a great lesson for all of us who might be looking at obstacles in our lives and wondering how we can ever move them. Kip shows us that if we are being authentic and don't give up we will find the way to make the impossible possible.

Visit www.kipkreiling.com for more information about Kip and the book.

Rod Harvey: 'Cracking' Through The Pain To Find The Love

by Cyrus Webb
I first heard Rod Harvey's story in 2010 when I read his book CRACK, LOVE N PAIN, a powerful memoir about his fall due to addiction and the road to redemption that followed. It was during his first appearance on Conversations LIVE, however, that gave me a larger perspective not just on where he had come from but where he saw himself today.

Rod shared with me that after a dishonorable discharge from the Navy his life was really a mess. The catalyst of the mess was drugs, but he had to realize something more before he was able to fully battle what he called 'the monster' that had gripped him.

The book that I had read, he shared, may cover 20 years but it took him 10 years to complete because he was still fighting his demons during the writing process.

The man many have gotten to know online through Facebook and his book is not the man who seemed to reach his lowest of lows before he was able to pick himself up and talk anew. In fact Rod told me that he hadn't lifted himself up. God had.

Though many had come and gone through his years of drug abuse and consequent times in jail, his mother never gave up on him. In the book Rod tells readers that though he was a crackhead he was his mother's son first. This meant that he kept the lessons that she tried to instill in him close, even though he didn't always apply them.

What finally helped Rod to turn things around? Rod remembered his mother telling him that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. That told him that this 'help' had to come from someone greater than him. He had to change the way he was thinking in order to change his life. And that was something that he knew God would have to step in and do. "I had to make a concrete decision that i needed help," says Rod. "I needed God. This (the addiction) was something that was more powerful than I was. My thoughts became my actions, so I had to change my actions. None of that could happen without God."

What was really telling about Rod's story is that it is really the story of so many people today. The road to drugs didn't begin in his home while growing up. He told me in that radio interview that he was offered drugs one time by a friend and was hooked. That one time is all it took to cause havoc in his life that would affect not just him but those he said he loved.

The great lesson, however, is that not all has to be lost. When you realize what the problem is in your life you can change. You can make the decision that you want better and that you deserve better. It worked for Rod, and it will work for any of us who are willing to do the work. This doesn't mean there won't be problems, but it does ensure that no matter what comes out way we don't have to go through it alone.

You can find Rod's book CRACK, LOVE N PAIN online on Amazon.com and on his website www.createspace.com/3394947.

Sean Anderson's Transformation Road

Our conversation with Sean Anderson, author of Transformation Road.

Sean, first congratulations to you both on your personal transformation and the book. Let's start the conversation with where you are now. What is it like to know that a personal decision that you made has inspired so many people when it comes to their own lives?

It certainly wasn't the plan in the beginning. It was something that happened naturally and gradually over time. The self-honesty required made the blog very real to people – relatable. I guess that's why people started seeing themselves in what I was doing and what I was writing day by day. Really, I'm often perplexed by it. It has been the most unexpected blessing of this entire transformation. And it happened in the best way that it could have: naturally and gradually.

What was unintentional in the beginning has become very intentional. When I hear from someone and I hear them tell me that my words have inspired them, it fuels my passion even more. This is truly all I want to do for the rest of my life – Write and speak about the dynamics involved. And I know from experience you can't do it for anyone so that's not what I try to do because it's impossible. Everyone must find their own "click" within. But what I can do is I can communicate with them in such a way that it can possibly shift their perspective just enough to help them finally, once in for all, facilitate their own "click." My message is very simple: You can choose change before change chooses you and I'm living proof.

Not to sound dramatic, but yours was a life or death decision. What was it for you that helped to put it all in perspective and know that you had to make real change in your life?

Naturally you would think it was the fear of death but it wasn't, because dying young is something that happens to other people. I could find the outs – If my blood pressure was too high there was a pill that would make it better. If I thought I was having a heart attack, and then discovered it was just indigestion, it would buy me more time. So it wasn't death, Cyrus, but it was everything else falling apart. I was on the brink of losing my job, losing my family and possibly losing a leg. At over 500 pounds my body was slowly deteriorating at about the same rate as everything else in my life that was important to me. So when I started, I wasn't afraid I would die, I was afraid I would lose everything else which doesn't make sense because when you die, you lose everything anyway. But again, dying young is something that happens to other people. But losing everything else is something that I could see happening to me and quickly if I didn't grab control.

Love is something we discuss a lot in this publication, especially when it comes to one loving oneself. Was loving yourself part of the transformation and how has it changed the way you look at yourself and your purpose?

If you were to ask me if I loved myself at over 500 pounds I would have said "Yes, of course I love myself," but I know now that real, genuine love isn't communicated verbally but in our actions. At over 500 pounds, I was and had been my own worst enemy my entire life. My actions would later be described by my wife at the time as a slow suicide by food. So if loving yourself means making the choices that turn everything around then yes I can honestly say I love myself and without that genuine love for self this transformation wouldn't have been possible.

Your book, Transformation Road, is more than just about losing weight. It is about changing the way you look at life. Why is that just as important as the way you look at food?

The most important shift in perspective isn't about food or life. It's all about what we think about ourselves. And if we think better of ourselves we naturally think better about the world and life and at that point it's much easier to make good choices when it comes to food. Without this internal shift, the fundamental changes we're making with food will be temporary; at least it always was with me. Because if we put our most intense focus on the food we run the risk of over-complicating and frustrating ourselves and while we're busy doing that, we're completely ignoring, refusing to acknowledge the behaviors within us that led to our obesity in the first place. It's a temporary diversion of who we are, and Cyrus, that's why we've always heard how hard it is to lose weight. It's not hard to lose weight. It's harder to force ourselves to be something we're not. And with some of these temporary diversions, the pounds will fall off while putting all of our focus on the food and the plan – the pounds will go away, and it all sounds like exactly what we dream. But without this truly internal investigation and change, losing weight will be a struggle the entire time. And the weight will come roaring back as soon as we revert to the behaviors we refused to acknowledge in the first place. I'm not the first to discover this dynamic, but I could never see it or believe it, until now.

Sean, what do you hope people take away from this road that you have traveled?

If I could design and market the best weight loss product in the world it would simply be a box. And on the outside of the box it would say, "Inside this box you will discover the secret to lasting weight loss once and for all." Then people would open the box and find a mirror. I want people to discover what I've discovered. They already own everything they need for real change. It's not something that can be purchased at the grocery store or the pharmacy. You don't have to have surgery and you don't have to deprive yourself. You don't have to have the latest plan or fad. You simply have to look in the mirror and get very real with yourself. There just isn't a substitute. This self-exploration and honesty is imperative. Without it, everything else is temporary. Cyrus, I've never spent a dime to lose this weight. I've never taken a pill, I haven't had a surgery and I've never been selected for a special weight-loss television show. And there's a large portion of the population who, just like the Old Sean, wonders, "Then how did he do it?" I simply looked in the mirror.

Any advice for individuals who are reading this conversation and want to start making changes in their lives beginning today?

Keep it very simple. If this process is hard, you're the one making it that way. Simplify, simplify, simplify. I finally realized that I wasn't going to wake up and change a lifetime of food addiction, compulsive emotional eating overnight. Although my old actions and past weight loss attempts would suggest that's what I thought. It was always "out with the old and in with the new." But these real changes we desire must be a gradual evolution of good choices. So many times we want to be perfect from day one. And striving for perfection is the quickest detour to insanity. I've never been perfect and I don't want to be. And I've still lost nearly 300 pounds and dramatically changed my life in every single way. I want them to realize if I can struggle near, at, or above 500 pounds for nearly two decades and then once and for all really do it, so can they. They'll realize they are the only ones that can do it for them. And then they might choose change before change chooses them, because change is coming. We're always changing. God willing, it might as well be on our terms.

Thanks for your time, Sean. How can our readers find out more information about you and your book?

My website is www.transformationroad.com The home for my book and eventually it will be much more, as its developed into my internet home covering every aspect of my future hopes and dreams. I also maintain a very open line of communication on my facebook page, www.facebook.com/seananderson505 I also have a facebook account for the book, www.facebook.com/transformationroad And of course, my blog The Daily Diary of A Winner Loser can be found at www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com or by simply clicking the "blog" link at transformationroad.com I can also be contacted by email: sean@transformationroad.com Cyrus, thank you for the chat!

"Tough Love" by Meg Collins [Relationships]

Hi everyone and welcome to Meg Collins column on relationships, dating, and many other facets of your lives that may be pertinent in 2011 and in 2012 for you, personally and professionally. Whether you are a woman or a man, this column is for all eyes in any industry. "Patti Novak, one of America's toughest matchmakers, says you may be to blame for your single status. Patti says that her years of experience have taught her one thing—millions of women have missed the mark when it comes to love." Patti continues with this comment that I would like to discuss with you today, "Somewhere along the line, and I'm really not sure [when], we lost our common sense," she says.

Ladies and gentlemen, when did we drop the ball on being of civility in dating and giving things a chance in our lives? There are many women and men that I have interviewed that clearly state, "I have given up on dating and am fine being single." Others comment that going to a local bar, attending golf matches, going to tea at elite restaurants, and going to happy hours are the best way to go in meeting a person of civility and one that may complete you as an individual. I tend to disagree with some of these comments. To meet a person of good character, you must first be a person of good character in your life. It is The Law of Attraction, in that if you put out good energies and are a person of good character and carry joy in your lives regularly, you will hence attract someone of equal goodness in your lives. Are you playing at the wrong soccerplex? Change it today. Are you hanging out with friends and colleagues that carry wisdom and a sense of good knowledge and self-esteem? As they stated in the olden days, "You are who you hang out with in life." Patti Novak definitely knows what she is talking about and is an expert in the area of dating. My question to you is what is holding you back from meeting someone and staying with them in your life or is that you are completely and utterly terrified of having someone in your life because you do not want to change habits and adapt to newness, one that could represent true love in your lives?

A few comments that I have received from people are the following, explaining why they are fearful or what obstacles they have run into in the dating process recently:

"The biggest obstacle is the lack of honesty. People need to tell the basic truth. True story- I met a gentleman on a dating site, I thought that he was attractive, seemed intelligent, employed and enjoyed the arts. After several weeks of communicating I set up a meeting. I'm not sure who showed up! He was at least 20 years older than picture, ah maybe the dated eye wear should have told me something. I'm not objecting the age as much as the dishonestly. Be proud of who you are and quit trying to be what you are not in life."

"My biggest is rejection, especially as we get older and the chore of going through the entire relationship process."

"I have had men in my live that have not claimed, until later, to be residing in an RV and recently separated, one man who was wearing an old UPS jacket and never worked for UPS as well as was driving regularly his Grandmother's car, one man picked up by SWAT team at his home due to stealing money at his job, another man who lived in a hotel and cried heavily on my recording after the first date, a man who carried a man purse, and many that were 20 years older than myself as well. The retail value of the phone headsets retailed more than the shirts on these men. Another one had a breathalyzer in his car and jogged home from a first date. I am not even sure if I should date at all at this point in my life and I am 43 years old."

"Getting all dressed up. High heel shoes hurt my feet."

"I have a lazy eye which is correctible and can be controlled, but once, on a blind date, the first thing my date told me was, "You know, you can get that fixed," and that my friends ended the date.

Let us gather together and trust our own intuitions in our lives, as 9 out of 10 times, our gut is right in life. Sharing your lives with someone is important and I truly agree with that in general. Have you started going to an elite hospital or a library lately to meet someone of true measure or done volunteer work simply because you would like to give back to society as a whole? Try something new in your life and share it with me when you embrace that different experience, as I will with you as well. Have a blessed day and enjoy your pursuits in the dating arena, as we all have a shelf life and are not certain of life's expiration date. Enjoy those around you and celebrate your life every single day and simply be who you are meant to be in your lives; enjoy the abundance of doors that burst open for you in 2012!

Sincerely,

Meg Collins

Columnist, Radio Show Host, Author, Poet, Editor, and Ghostwriter.

The Transformation Of Gary Goldstein

by Cyrus Webb

Thanks to this platform and that afforded me by Conversations LIVE I am able to show people all around the world that no matter what they have done in their past, they don't have to be defined by it. That is exemplified by Gary Goldstein. He is an individual who made his mistakes but has gone on to do powerful things and affect people's lives in a positive way.

Think you have gone too far in the darkness and not able to see the light again? Read this interview, and I believe you might just change your mind. 

Gary, congratulations to you on not just what you have accomplished but on the new book JEW IN JAIL. Before we get into the book, why don't you tell our readers what exactly led to your being incarcerated in the first place.
Thanks Cyrus. I was incarcerated, upon my plea of guilty, to three counts of Robbery in the Second Degree, due in large part to my past addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.

I had the pleasure of talking with you on Conversations LIVE recently about how you have used your experiences to help others. Why do you think the challenges in your life have actually made you a stronger person?
The many things that I have gone through in my life have caused me to appreciate all the things that we, as human beings, tend to take for granted, like health, family, friends, love, respect, and common decency. In addition, just freedom, and the simple pleasure that entails, like peace of mind, has also brought me inner tranquility, so that I have lots of self-esteem now, and enjoy life, as well as helping other addicts and people in general.

Through your book JEW IN JAIL you have said that you wanted to let others know what is possible with hard work and not giving up on yourself. How easy has it been for you to forgive yourself and not let your mistakes define the person you are?
Well, at first, it was very tough, because I have always been my harshest critic. However, after sharing my story in the many AA, NA, and GA meetings I attended while incarcerated, I began to

see and realize that I was not alone, and that it is human to make mistakes. Then, as time continued to go on, and I began to feel better and better about myself both physically, mentally and spiritually, and my family and friends stood by to fully support me too, I became intent on turning my life around through dedication, discipline and sheer determination to, not only get my book, "Jew in Jail" published, but to pass the message of hope to others. Today, I am a totally different person than when I was first incarcerated, and am now defined by the example I have become to others by how I currently live my life.

Our theme for 2012 is New From The Inside Out. I really believe that in order to really transform our lives it starts with knowing that we deserve the very best. When you do share your story with others, how do you try to help them see their own worth?
I simply tell others that they have greatness in them, and that in order for one to be their very best, it is up to each to discover what it is that makes them happy and strive to be successful at that. I truly believe that each and every single one of us possesses at least one talent, and by reinforcing this, I drill into them that the sky is really the limit, and that NOTHING is impossible through hard work and dedication!

Making the strides you have is one thing but writing the book is a totally different achievement. I asked you on the radio show what advice you had for others who felt as though they had a story in them. What would you share with them now?
I believe that everyone has a story to tell, so the first thing I would say to them is to write, write, and write some more! Any time a thought crosses their mind, even if it happens in the middle of the night, they should write it down, so that it becomes documented, and isn't lost. They should also determine a theme of their story, meaning what do they want to say, and to whom do they want to say it to, as far as a target audience is concerned. If one is passionate about something, then writing about it does not seem like a chore, but a personal accomplishment that nobody can take away from them when it is completed.

Happy New Year and thanks for taking out the time to talk with us, Gary. Looking forward to seeing where this journey you are on continues to take you. How can our readers find out more information about you and get their copy of the book?
Thank you for this opportunity to tell my story Cyrus, and Happy New Year to you too. Information about myself and my book is available through my website, http://www.jewinjail.com/, or from Amazon.com other retail websites, or through my publisher, https://www.createspace.com/. They can also simply email me at Gman18nyc@aol.com as well.