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Conversations Magazine, March/April 2024

Monday, August 11, 2014

[Mary's Motivational Message] Celebrating Fatherhood

Who says Father's Day is something to be celebrated once a year?

With fatherhood everyday is an opportunity to be exposed to millions of valuable life lessons/challenges and teachings that provide insight. I would like to set aside this time to share a few examples that have inspired me.

Example 1: The reality of Dads and who they are:
So often we hear and read about the men who are not being good providers, good role models and leaders for their children and families. We have all heard the reports of those men who have walked away from their families and have just detached from their responsibilities. Well I’m here this morning to tell you that the painting is not a true reflection of the entire portraits depth.  The reality is that those who do step up outweigh those who don’t. The majority of fathers are proudly standing on the front line each and every day for their families, while being the constant protector.
- They are working extremely hard to ensure that shelter is provided and warm food is on the table
- They are inspiring their daughters, encouraging their sons while being emotionally supportive of their wife or significant other
- So many of you beautiful DADS make sacrifices so that your families will have.

My mom once shared with me how my maternal grandfather, who was a proud City Employee,  so often to prolong the purchasing of new work boots, would wrap his torn work boots with duck tape because he felt that the money would be better utilized within the family home.

So many Dads are the constant protector. Many times when we think their reading the news paper or guarding the remote control, numerous DADS are actually thinking about, “Is my wife ok? Are my children alright? Will the bills be paid this month? Are there enough groceries in the cupboards? Am I doing all that I need to do? Am I being the husband and provider GOD has ordered me to be?" Not the minority but the majority of men love, cherish and adore their children beyond what we could ever imagine.

Example 2: Pertains to never giving up on your relationship with your children:
One year ago, a dad was sharing with me, his frustration with his daughter.  Years prior there had been words pertaining to him being absent from her life when she was a young child. And as a result, they had not spoken in some time. Whatever advice or suggestions I provided, he remained hopeless and bitter. How many of you DADS are filling a void because there is a rift with your child?  How many know a DAD who is facing various challenges with their child and is consumed with guilt.  Well, I’m here to say that:
- It’s never to late to transform your relationship with your child
- There are some things you can give up on but never give up on cultivating a positive relationship with your child
- God has the power  with blink of an eye lid to  bring about a healing and a understanding
- Fight for renewal in your relationship with your child and remember that through GOD all things are possible

Example 3: Pertains to Having No Regrets:
 Many of you like myself, had to say good-by to our DAD much too soon. At least you feel that it was too soon. Five years ago my father went in for an outpatient surgery and passed away on the operating table. We had shared a conversation the day before laughing, gossiping, just having a great time. His last words to me were, “sweetie, Daddy will talk to you tomorrow” but that never came.

I find it difficult searching for Father’s Day cards and not purchasing one for my dad. I miss him so much. I’m so thrilled that whatever we needed to address we did. He knew how I felt and I knew his heart as it pertained to me.

A reminder for you: this journey called life is so very short and because we are only here for moment, you don’t have a life time to re event your child. And children you don’t have a lifetime to re-invent your DAD. All you have is this moment. Enjoy your DAD, love your DAD, and cherish your DAD.

When was the last time you said Dad I love you, Dad I appreciate you, thank you Dad just because. Well, no better time than today, to get some pep in your step and spoil your daddy.  And as you journey through your life spread the love around, extending appreciation to the various Dads that you come into contact with.

And to all of you Dads out there standing on the front line 24/7 for your families, we see you, we honor you, we love you and we want you to know, that even though we set aside this day to treat you like a king and shower you with love, within our hearts we know, and acknowledge that Father’s Day is every day.

In closing, Happy Father’s day to the Father’s, God Fathers, Grandfathers, Uncles, Brothers, and Mentors. Many of you wear many hats and we love you for it, never forget that.
Love, Peace and Joy,                                                                                                                                        Mary

Mary E. Gilder is the author of the award winning novel, A Misrepresentation of Myself. And her soon to be sophomore release, Even a Man Can Have a Broken Heart. In addition Mary is available for speaking engagements. She can be contacted at or 

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